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THE 



B I GLOW PAPEES. 



BY 



JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL. 



SECOND SERIES. 



Sutfj0ttjctr Peopled ffifcttton. 



LONDON: 
TBUBNEE & CO. 60, PATEBNOSTEE EOW. 

18G5. 



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CONTENTS. 



No, I. 

PAGE 
BIRDOFREDUM SAWIN, ESQ. TO MR. HOSEA BIGLOW . . 3 

No. II. 
MASON AND SLIDELL : A YANKEE IDYLL 29 

Nc III. 
BIKDOFREDUM SAWIN, ESQ. TO MR. HOSEA BIGLOW . . 53 

- NO. IV. 

A MESSAGE OF JEFF. DAVIS IN SECRET SESSION ... 78 



No. V. 

SPEECH OF HONOURABLE PRESERVED DOE IN SECRET 91 
CAUCUS 

NO. VI. 
SUNTHIN' IN THE PASTORAL LINE 107 

No. VII. 
LATEST VIEWS OF MR. BIGLOW 121 

No. VIII. 

MR. HOSEA BIGLOW TO THE EDITOR OF THE ATLANTIC 

MONTHLY 134 



EIEDOFREDUM SAWIK ESQ. TO ME. HOSEA 

BIGLOW. 

Letter from the Reverend Homer Wilbur, M. A. inclosing 

the Epistle aforesaid. 

Jaalam, 15th Nov., 1861. 
******* 

JLi is not from any idle wish to obtrude my humble person 
with undue prominence upon the publick view that I resume 
my pen upon the present occasion. Juniores ad labores. But 
having been a main instrument in rescuing the talent of my 
young parishioner from being buried in the ground, by giving 
it such warrant with the world as would be derived from a 
name already widely known by several printed discourses (all 
of which I may be permitted without immodesty to state have 
been deemed worthy of preservation in the Library of Harvard 
College by my esteemed friend Mr. Sibley), it seemed becoming 
that I should not only' testify to the genuineness of the follow- 
ing production, but call attention to it, the more as Mr. Biglow 
had so long been silent as to be in danger of absolute oblivion. 
I insinuate no claim to any share in the authorship (vix ea nostra 
voco) of the works already published by Mr. Biglow, but 
merely take to myself the credit of having fulfilled toward 
them the office of taster (experlo crede), who, having first 



4- THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

tried, could afterward bear witness — an office always arduous, 
and sometimes even dangerous, as in the case of those devoted 
persons who venture their lives in the deglutition of patent 
medicines (doltcs latet in generalibus, there is deceit in the most 
of them) and thereafter are wonderfully preserved long enough 
to append their signatures to testimonials in the diurnal and 
hebdomadal prints. I say not this as covertly glancing at the 
authors of certain manuscripts which have been submitted to 
my literary judgment (though an epick in twenty-four books 
on the " Taking of Jericho " might, save for the prudent fore- 
thought of Mrs. Wilbur in secreting the same just as I had 
•arrived beneath the walls and was beginning a catalogue of the 
various horns and their blowers, too ambitiously emulous in 
longanimity of Homer's list of ships, might, I say, have 
•rendered frustrate any hope I could entertain vacare Musis for 
the small remainder of my days), but only further to secure 
myself against any imputation of unseemly forthputting. I will 
barely subjoin, in this connexion, that, whereas Job was left to 
desire, in the soreness of his heart, that his adversary had written 
a book, as perchance misanthropically wishing to indite a 
review thereof, yet was not Satan allowed so far to tempt him 
as to send Bildad, Eliphaz, and Zophar each with an imprinted 
work in his wallet to be submitted to his censure. But of 
this enough. Were I in need of other excuse, I might add 
that I write by the express desire of Mr. Biglow himself, 
whose entire winter leisure is occupied, as he assures me, in 
.answering demands for autographs, a labour exacting enough 
in itself, and egregiously so to him, who, being no ready pen- 
man, cannot sign so much as his name without strange con- 
tortions of the face (his nose, even, being essential to complete 
success) and painfully suppressed Saint-Vitus-dance of every 
muscle in his body. This, with his having been put in the 
commission of the Peace by our excellent Governor (O, si 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKW. 5 

sic omnes /) immediately on liis accession to office, keeps him 
continually employed. Baud inexpertus loquor, having for 
many years written myself J. P., and being not seldom applied 
to for specimens of my chirography, a request to which I have 
sometimes too weakly assented, believing as I do that nothing 
written of set purpose can properly be called an autograph, 
but only those unpremeditated sallies and lively runnings 
which betray the fireside Man instead of the hunted Notoriety 
doubling on his pursuers. But it is time that I should be- 
think me of Saint Austin's prayer, Libera me a meipso, if I 
would arrive at the matter in hand. 

Moreover, I had yet another reason for taking up the pen 
myself. I am informed that the Atlantic Monthly is mainly 
indebted for its success to the contributions and editorial 
supervision of Dr. Holmes, whose excellent "Annals of 
America " occupy an honoured place upon my shelves. The 
journal itself I have never seen ; but if this be so, it should 
seem that the recommendation of a brother-clergyman (though 
par magis quam similis) would carry a greater weight. I sup- 
pose that you have a department for historical lucubrations, 
and should be glad, if deemed desirable, to forward for publi- 
cation my " Collections for the Antiquities of Jaalam," and my 
(now happily complete) pedigree of the Wilbur family from its 
fons et origo, the Wild Boar of Ardennes. Withdrawn from 
the active duties of my profession by the settlement of a 
colleague-pastor, the Ueverend Jeduthun Hitchcock, formerly 
of Brutus Eour-Corners, I might find time for further contri- 
butions to general literature on similar topicks. I have made 
large advances towards a completer genealogy of Mrs. Wilbur's 
family, the Pilcoxes, not, if I know myself, from any idle vanity, 
but with the sole desire of rendering myself useful in my day 
and generation. Nulla dies sine lined, I inclose a meteorolo- 
gical register, a list of the births, deaths, and marriages, and 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

a few memorabilia of longevity in Jaalam East Parish for the 
last half-century. Though spared to the unusual period of 
more than eighty years, I find no diminution of my faculties 
or abatement of my natural vigour, except a scarcely sensible 
decay of memory and a necessity of recurring to younger eye- 
sight for the finer print in Cruden. It would gratify me to 
make some further provision for declining years from the 
emoluments of my literary labours — I had intended to effect 
an insurance on my life, but was deterred therefrom by a cir- 
cular from one of the offices, in which the sudden deaths of so 
large a proportion of the insured was set forth as an induce- 
ment, that it seemed to me little less than the tempting of 
Providence. Neque i/i summd inop'ui levis esse senedvs potest, 
ne sapient I quidem. 

Thus far concerning Mr. Biglow ; and so much seemed 
needful (brevis esse laboro) by way of preliminary, after 
a silence of fourteen years. He greatly fears lest he may in 
this essay have fallen below himself, well knowing that, if 
exercise be dangerous on a full stomach, no less so is writing 
on a full reputation. Beset as he has been on all sides, he 
could not refrain, and would only imprecate patience till ho 
shall again have "got the hang" (as he calls it) of an accom- 
plishment long disused. The letter of Mr. Sawin was received 
some time in last June, and others have followed which will in 
due season be submitted to the publick. How largely his 
statements are to be depended on, I more than merely 
dubitate. He was always distinguished for a tendency to 
exaggeration — it might almost be qualified by a stronger 
term. Furtiter mentire, aliquid haret, seemed to be his 
favourite rule of rhetorick. That he is actually where he 
says he is the post -mark would seem to confirm ; that he was 
received with the publick demonstrations he describes would 
appear consonant with what we know of the habits of thofl 



THE B1GL0W PAPERS. 7 

regions ; but further than this I venture not to decide. I 
have sometimes suspected a vein of humour in him which 
leads him to speak by contraries ; but since, in the unre- 
strained intercourse of private life, I have never observed in 
him any striking powers of invention, I am the more willing 
to put a certain qualified faith in the incidents and the details 
of life and manners which give to his narratives some of the 
interest and entertainment which characterizes a Century 
Sermon. 

It may be expected of me that I should say something to 
justify myself with the world for a seeming inconsistency with 
my well-known principles in allowing my youngest son to raise 
a company for the war, a fact known to all through the 
medium of the publick prints. I did reason with the young 
man, but expellas natur am fared, tamenusque recurrit. Having 
mysejf been a chaplain in 1812, I could the less wonder 
that a man of war had sprung from my loins. It was, indeed, 
grievous to send my Benjamin, the child of my old age ; but 
after the discomfiture of Manassas, I with my own hands did 
buckle on his armour, trusting in the great Comforter for 
strength according to my need. For truly the memory of a 
brave son dead in his shroud were a greater staff of my de- 
clining years than a coward, though his days might be long in 
the land, and he should get much goods, It is not till our 
earthen vessels are broken that we find and truly possess the 
treasure that was laid up in them. Migravi in animam rneam, 
I have sought refuge in my own soul ; nor would I be shamed 
by the heathen comedian with his Neqtiam illucl verbum, bene 
vult, nisi benefacit. During our dark days, I read constantly 
in the inspired book of Job, which I believe to contain more 
food to maintain the fibre of the soul for right living and high 
thinking than all pagan literature together, though I would by 
no means vilipend the study of the ciassicks. There I read 



8 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

that Job said in his despair, even as the fool saith in his heart 
there is no God — "The tabernacles of robbers prosper, and 
they that provoke God are secure." (Job xii. 6.) But I sought 
farther till I found this Scripture also, which I would have 
those perpend who have striven to turn our Israel aside to the 
worship of strange gods : — " If I did despise the cause of my 
man-servant or of my maid-servant when they contended with 
me, what then shall I do when God riseth up ? and when he 
visiteth, what shall I answer him?" (Job xxxi. 13-11.) On 
this text I preached a discourse on the last day of Easting and 
Humiliation with general acceptance, though there were not 
wanting one or two Laodiceans who said that I should have 
waited till the President announced his policy. But let us 
hope and pray, remembering this of Saint Gregory, Vult Deus 
rogari, vult cogi, vult quddam importunitate vuici. 

We had our first fall of snow on Friday last. Prosts have 
been unusually backward this fall. A singular circumstance 
occurred in this town on the 20th October, in the family of 
Deacon Pelatiah Tinkham. On the previous evening, a few 
moments before family-prayers, 

* * * •* • * * 

[The editors of the Atlantic find it necessary here to cut 
short the letter of their valued correspondent, which seemed 
calculated rather on the rates of longevity in Jaalam than for 
less favoured localities. They have every encouragement to 
hope that he will write again.] 

With esteem and respect, 

Your obedient servant, 

Homer Wilbur, A.M. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 9 



It 's some consid'ble of a spell sence I hain't writ no 
letters, 

An' ther' 's gret changes hez took place in all polit'cle 
metters : 

Some canderdates air dead an' gone, an' some hez hen 
defeated, 

Which 'mounts to pooty mnch the same ; fer it 's ben 
proved repeated 

A betch o' bread thet hain't riz once ain't goin' to rise 
f agin, 

An' it 's jest money throwed away to put the emptins in : 

But thet 's wut folks won't never larn ; they dunno 
how to go, 

Arter you want their room, no more 'n a bullet-headed 
beau; 

Ther' 's oilers chaps a-hangin' roun' thet can't see pea- 
time 's past, 

Mis'ble as roosters in a rain, heads down an' tails half- 
mast : 

It ain't disgraceful bein' beat, when a holl nation doos it, 

But Chance is like an amberill, — it don't take twice to 
lose it. 

I spose you ; re kin' o' cur'ous, now, to know why I 
hain't writ. 



10 THIS BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Wal, I Ve ben where a litt'ry taste don't somehow seem 

to git 
Th' encouragement a feller 'd think, thet 's used to 

public schools, 
An' where sech things ez paper 'n' ink air clean agin 

the rules : 
A kind o' vicyvarsy house, built dreffle strong an' stout, 
So 's 't honest people can't git in, ner t' other sort git 

out, 
An with the winders so contrived, you 'd prob'ly like 

the view 
Better a-lookin' in than out, though it seems sing'lar, tu ; 
But then the landlord sets by ye, can't bear ye out o' 

sight, 
And locks ye up ez reg'lar ez an outside door at night. 



„„ 



This world is awfle contrary : the rope may stretch you 

neck 
Thet mebby kep' another chap frum washin' off a wreck ; 
An' you will see the taters grow in one poor feller's 

patch, % 

So small no self-respectin' hen thet vallied time 'ould 

scratch, 
So small the rot can't find 'em out, an then agin, nex' 

door, 
Ez big ez wut hogs dream on when they 're 'most toe 

flit to snore. 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKS. 11 

But groutin' ain't no kin' o' use ; an' ef the fust throw 

fails, 
Why, up an' try agin, thet 's all, — the coppers ain't all 

tails ; 
Though I hev seen 'em when I thought they hed n't no 

more head 
Than 'd sarve a nussin' Brigadier thet gits some ink to 

shed. 

When I writ last, I 'd ben turned loose by thet blamed 

nigger, Pomp, 
Feriorner than a musquash, ef you 'd took an' dreened 

his swamp : 
But I ain't o' the meechin kind, thet sets an' thinks 

fer weeks 
The bottom 's out o' th' univarse coz their own gillpot 

leaks. 
I hed to cross bayous an' criks, (wal, it did beat all 

natur',) 
Upon a kin' o' corderoy, fast log, then alligator : 
Luck'ly the critters warn't sharp-sot ; I guess 't wuz 

overruled 
They 'd done their mornin's marketin' an' gut their 

hunger cooled ; 
Fer missionaries to the Creeks an' runaways are viewed 
By them an' folks ez sent express to be their reg'lai 

food : 



12 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Wutever 't wuz, they laid an' snoozed ez peacefully ez 

sinners, 
Meek ez disgestin' deacons be at ordination dinners ; 
Ef any on 'em turned an' snapped, I let 'em kin' o' taste 
My live-oak leg, an' so, ye see, ther' warn't no gret o' 

waste. 
Fer they found out in quicker time than ef they 'd ben 

to college 
'T warn't heartier food than though 't wuz made out o' 

the tree o' knowledge. 
But / tell you my other leg hed lamed wut pizon-nettle 

meant, 
An' var'ous other usefle things, afore I reached a settle- 
ment, 
An' all o' me thet wuz n't sore an' sendin' prickles 

thru me 
Wuz jest the leg I parted with in lickin' Montezumy : 
A usefle limb it 's ben to me, an' more of a support 
Than wut the other hez ben, — coz I dror my pension 

for 't. 

Wal, I gut in at last where folks wuz civerlized aa 

white, 
Ez I diskivered to my cost afore 't wuz hardly night ; 
Fer 'z I wuz settin' in the bar a-takin' sunthin' hot, 
An' feelin' like a man agin, all over in one spot, 
A feller thet sot opposite, arter a squint at me, 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 13 

Lep up an' drawed his peacemaker, an', " Dash it, Sir," 

suz he, 
" I 'm doubledashed ef you ain't him thet stole my 

yeller ehettle, 
(You ; re all the stranger thet 's around,) so now 

you 've. gut to settle ; 
It ain't no use to argerfy ner try to cut up frisky, 
I know ye ez I know the smell o' ole chain-lightnin' 

whiskey ; 
We 're lor-abidin' folks down here, we ; 11 fix ye so 's 

f 'ta bar 
Would n' tech ye with a ten-foot pole ; (Jedge, you 

jest warm the tar ;) 
You '11 think you 'd better ha' gut among a tribe o' 

Mongrel Tartars, 
'Fore we Ve done showin' how we raise our Southun 

prize tar-martyrs ; 
A moultin' fallen cherubim, ef he should see ye, 'd 

snicker, 
Thinkin' he hed n't nary chance. Come, genlemun, 

le' 's liquor ; 
An', Gin'ral, when you ; ve mixed the drinks an' 

'chalked 'em up, tote roun' 
An' see ef ther' 's a feather-bed (thet 's borryable) in 

town. 
We '11 try ye fair, Ole Grafted-Leg, an' ef the tar wun't 

stick, 



14 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Th' ain't not a juror here but wut '11 'quit ye double- 
quick." 

To cut it short, I wun't say sweet, they gi' me a good 
dip, 

(They ain't 2^rfessin Bahptists here,) then give the bed 
a rip, — 

The jury 'd sot, an' quicker 'n a flash they hetched me 
out, a livin' 

Extemp'ry mammoth turkey-chick fcr a Feejee Thanks- 
givin'. 

Thet I felt some stuck up is wut it 's nat'ral to suppose, 
When poppy lar enthusiasm hed furnished me secb 

clo'es ; 
(Xer 't ain't without edvantiges, this kin' o' suit, ye see, 
It 's water-proof, an' water 's wut I like kep 1 out o' 

me ;) 
But nut content with thet, they took a kerridge from 

the fence 
An' rid me roun' to see the place, entirely free 'f 

expense, 
With forty-'leven new kines o' sarse without no charge 

acquainted me, 
Gi' me three cheers, an' vowed thet I wuz all their 

fahncy painted me ; 
They treated me to all their eggs ; (they keep 'em I 

should think, 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. If) 

Fer sech ovations, poo ty long, for they wuz mos' dis- 

tinc' ;) 
They starred me thick 'z the Milky-Way with indis- 

crim'nit cherity, 
Eer wut we call reception eggs air sunthin' of a rerity ; 
Green ones is plentifle anough, skurce wuth a nigger's 

getherin', 
But your dead-ripe ones ranges high fer treating ]STothun 

hretherin : 
A spotteder, ringstreakeder child the' warn't in Uncle 

Sam's 
floll farm, — a cross of striped pig an' one o' Jacob's 

lambs ; 
T wuz Dannil in the lions' den, new an' enlarged 

edition, 
An' everythin' fast-rate o' 'ts kind, the' warn't no 

impersition. 
People 's impulsiver down here than wut our folks tQ 

home be, 
An' kin' o' go it 'ith a resh in raisin' Hail Columby : 
Thet 's so : an' they swarmed out like bees, for your 

real Southun men's 
Time is n't o' much more account than an ole settin' 

hen's ; 
(They jest work semioccashnally, or else don't work 

at all, 
An' so their time an' 'tention both air et saci'ty's call.) 



16 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Talk about hospitality ! wut Ebthun town d'ye know 
Would take a totle stranger up an' treat hini gratis so ] 
You 'd better b'lieve ther' 's no thin' like this spendin' 

days an' nights 
Along 'ith a dependent race fer civerlizin' whites. 

But this wuz all prelini'nary ; it 's so Gran' Jurors here 
Fin' a true bill, a hendier way than ourn, an' nut so 

dear ; 
So arter this they sentenced me, to make all tight 'n' 

snug, 
Afore a reg'lar court o' law, to ten years in the Jug. 
I did n' make no gret defence : you don't feel much 

like speaking 
When, ef you let your clamshells gape, a quart o' tar 

will leak in : 
I hev hearn tell o' winged words, but pint o' fact it tethers 
The spoutin' gift to hev your words tu thick sot on 

with feathers, 
An' Choate ner Webster would n't ha' made an A 1 

kin' o' speech 
Astride a Southun chestnut horse sharper 'n a baby's 

screech. 

Two year ago they ketched the thief, 'n' seein' I wuz 

innercent, 
They jest oncorked an' le' me run, an' in my stid the 

sinner sent 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 17 

To see how he liked pork 'n' pone flavored with wa'nut 

sapling 
An' nary social priv'ledge but a one-hoss, starn-wheel 

chaplin. 
When I come out, the folks behaved mos' gen'manly 

an' harnsome ; 
They 'lowed it would n't be more ? n right, ef I should 

cuss 'n' darn some : 
The Cuhnle he apolergized ; suz he, " I '11 du wut 's 

right, 
I '11 give ye settisfectiofri now by shootin' ye at sight, 
An' give the nigger, (when he 's caught,) to pay him 

fer his trickin' 
In gittin' the wrong man took up, a most H fired 

lickin', — 
It 's jest the way with all on 'em, the inconsistent 

critters, 
They ? re 'most enough to make a man blaspheme his 

mornin' bitters; 
I '11 be your frien' thru thick an' thin an' in all kines 

o' weathers, 
An' all you ; ]1 hev to pay fer 's jest the waste o' tar an' 

feathers : 
A lady owned the bed, ye see, a widder, tu, Miss 

Shennon ; 
It wuz her mite ; we would ha' took another, ef 

ther 'd ben one : 



18 THE BIGLOW TArERS. 

We don't make no charge for the ride an' all the other 

flxins. 
Le' 's liquor ; Gin'ral, you can chalk our friend for all 

the niixins." 
A meetin' then wuz called, where they " Resolved, 

Thet we respec' 
E. S. Esquire for quallerties o' heart an' intellect 
Peculiar to Columby's sile, an' not to no one else's, 
Thet makes European tyrans scringe in all their gilded 

pel'ces, 
An' doos gret honor to our race an' Southun institoo- 

tions": 
(I give ye jest the substance o' the leadin' resolootions :) 
"Resolved, Thet we revere in him a soger 'thout a nor, 
A martyr to the princerples o' libbaty an' lor : 
Eesolved, Thet other nations all, ef sot 'longside o' us, 
Eor vartoo, larnin', chiwerlry, ain't noways wuth a 

cuss." 
They gut up a subscription, tu, but no gret come o' that 
I 'xpect in cairin' of it roun' they took a leaky hat ; 
Though Southun genelmun ain't slow at puttin' down 

their name, 
(When they can write,) fer in the eend it comes to jesl 

the same, 
Because, ye see, J t 's the fashion here to sign an' not to 

think 
A critter 'd be so sordid ez to ax 'em for the chink : 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 19 

I did n't call but jest on one, an' he drawed toothpick 

on me, 
An' reckoned he warn't goin' to stan' no sech dog- 

gauned econ'my; 
So nothin' more wuz realized, 'ceptin' the good-will 

shown, . 
Than ef 't had ben from fust to last a reg'lar Cotton 

Loan. 
It 's a good way, though, come to think, coz ye enjy 

the sense 
0' lendin' lib' rally to the Lord, an' nary red o' 'xpense : 
Sence then I 've gut my name up for a gin'rous-hearted 

man 
By jes' subscribin' right an' left on this high-minded 

plan ; 
I 've gin away my thousans so to every Southun sort 
0' missions, colleges, an' sech, ner ain't no poorer for 't. 

I warn't so bad off, arter all; I need n't hardly mention 
That Guv'ment owed me quite a pile for my arrears o' 

pension, — 
I mean the poor, weak thing we lied: we run a new 

one now, 
Thet strings a feller with a claim up tu the nighest 

bough, 
An' prectises the rights o* man, purtects down-irodden 

debtors, 



20 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Xer wun'thev creditors about a-scrougin' o' their betters: 
Jeff 's gut the last idees ther' is, poscrip', fourteenth 

edition, 
He knows it takes some enterprise to run an oppersition ; 
Ourn 's the fust thru-by-daylight train, with all ou' doors 

for deepot, 
Yourn goes so slow you 'd think 't wuz drawed by a last 

cent'ry teapot ; — 
Wal, I gut all on 't paid in gold afore our State seceded, 
An' done wal, for Confed'rit bonds warn't jest the cheese 

I needed : 
Nut but wut they 're ez good ez gold, but then it 's 

hard a-breakin' on 'em, 
An' ignorant folks is oilers sot an' wun't git used to 

takin' on 'em ; 
They 're wuth ez much ez wut they wuz afore ole 

Mem'nger signed 'em. 
An' go off middlin' wal for drinks, when ther' 's a knife 

behind 'em ; 
We die miss silver, jest fer thet an' ridiii' in a bus, 
Xow we 've shook off the despots thet wuz suckin' at 

our pus ; 
An' it's because the South's so rich; 't wuz nat'ral to expec' 
Supplies o' change wuz jest the tilings we should n't 

recollec' : 
We 'd ough' to ha' thought aforehan', though, o' thet 

crood rule o' Crockett's, 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 21 

For 't 's tiresome cairin' cotton-bales an' niggers in your 

pockets, 
ISIer 't ain't quite hendy to pass off one o' your six-foot 

Guineas 
An' git your halves an' quarters back in gals an' pick- 
aninnies : 
Wal, 't ain't quite all a feller 'd ax, but then ther' 's 

this to say, 
It 's on'y jest among ourselves thet we expec' to pay ; 
Our system would ha' caird us thru in any Bible cent'ry, 
Tore this onscripterl plan come up o J books by double 

entry ; 
"We go the patriarkle here out o' all sight an' hearin', 
For Jacob warn't a circumstance to Jeff at financierin' ; 
He never 'd thought o' borryin' from Esau like all nater 
An' then cornfiscatin' all debts to sech a small pertater; 
There 's p'litickle econ'my, now, combined 'ith morril 

beauty 
Thet saycrifices privit eends (your in'my's, tu) to dooty \ 
Wy, Jeff 'd ha' gin him five an' won his eye-teeth 'fore 

he knowed it, 
An', stid o' wastin' pottage, he 'd ha' eat it up an* 

owed it. 

But I wuz goin' on to say how I come here to dwall ; — 
'Nough said, thet, arter lookin' roun', I liked the place 
so wal, 



22 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Where niggers doos a double good, with us atop tc 

stiddy 'em, 
By bein' proofs o' prophecy an' cirkleatin' medium, 
Where a man 's sunthin' coz he 's white, an* whiskey 's 

cheap ez fleas, 
An' the financial pollercy jest sooted my idees, 
Thet I friz down right where I wuz, merried the Widder 

Shennon, 
(Her thirds wuz part in cotton-land, part in the curse 

o' Canaan,) 
An' here I be ez lively ez a chipmunk on a wall, 
With nothin' to feel riled about much later 'n Eddam's 

fall. . 

Ez fur ez human foresight goes, we made an even trade: 

She gut an overseer, an' I a fem'ly ready-made, 

(The youngest on 'em 's 'most growed up,) rugged an' 

spry ez weazles, 
So 's 't ther' 's no resk o' doctors' bills fer hoopin'-cough 

an' measles. 
Our farm 's at Turkey-Buzzard Eoost, Little Big Boosy 

Eiver, 
Wal located in all respex, — fer 't ain't the chills 'n' fever 
Thet makes my writin' seem to squirm ; a SouthuniT 

'd allow I 'd 
Some call to shake, for I 've jest lied to ineller a new 

cowhide. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 23 

Miss S. is all 'f a lady; th' ain't no better on BigBoosy, 
!Ner one with more accomplishmunts 'twixt here an* 

Tuscaloosy ; 
She 's an F. I\, the tallest kind, an' prouder 'n the Gran' 

Turk, 
An' never hed a relative thet done a stroke o' work ; 
Hern ain't a scrimpin' fem'ly sech ez you git up Down 

East, 
Th' ain't a growed member on 't but owes his thousuns 

et the least : 
She is some old ; but then agin ther' 's drawbacks in 

my sheer : 
Wut 's left o' me ain't more 'n enough to make a 

Brigadier : 
The wust is, she hez tantrums ; she is like Seth Moody's 

gun 
(Him thet wuz nicknamed frum his limp Ole Dot an' 

Kerry One) ; 
He 'd left her loaded up a spell, an' hed to git her clear, 
So he onhitched, — Jeerusalem ! the middle o' last year 
Wuz right nex' door compared to where she kicked the 

critter tu 
(Though jest where he brought up wuz wut no human 

never knew) ; 
His brother Asaph picked her up an' tied her to a tree, 
An' then she kicked an hour 'n' a half afore she 'd let 

it be : 



24 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 



Wal, Miss S. doos hev cuttins-up an' pomins-out o' vials, 
But then she hez her widder's thirds, an' all on us hez 
trials. 

My objec', though, in writers' now wam't to allude to 
sech, 

But to another suckemstance more dellykit to tech, 

I want thet you should grad'lly break my nierriage to 
Jerushy, 

An' there' 's a heap of argymunts thet 's emple to in- 

dooce ve : 
Fust place, State's Prison,— wal, it 's true it warn't fer 

crime, o' course, 
But then it 's jest the same fer her in gittin' a disvorce ; 
Xex' place, my State's secedin' out hez leg'lly lef me 

free 
To merry any one I please, pervidin' it 's a she ; 
Fin'lly, I never wun't come back, she need n't hev no 

fear on 't, 
But then it 's wal to fix tilings right fer fear Miss S. 

should hear on 't ; 
Lastly, I 've gut religion South, an' Eushy she 's a pagan 
Ihet sets by th' graven imiges o' the gret Nothun 

Dagon ; 

(Now I hain't seen one in six munts, for, sence oui 
Treasury Loan, 

Though yaller boys is thick anough, eagles hea kind o' 
flown ;) 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKS. 25 

Ail' ef J. wants a stronger pint than them thet I hev 
stated, 

L 

Wy, she 's an alinn in'my now, an' I Ve ben cornfis- 

cated, — 
For sence we 've entered on th' estate o' the late 

nayshnnl eagle, 
She hain't no kin' o' right bnt jest wnt I allow ez 

legle : 
Wut doos Secedin' mean, ef ; t ain't thet nat'rul rights 

hez riz, 'n' 
Thet wut is mine 's my own, but wilt's another man's 

ain't his'n 1 

Besides, I could n't do no else ; Miss S. suz she to me, 
" You 've sheered my bed," [Thet 's when I paid my 

interduction fee 
To Southun rites,] "an' kep' your sheer," [Wal, I allow 

it sticked 
So /s 't I wuz most six weeks in jail afore I gut me 

picked,] 
" Ner never paid no demmiges ; but thet wun't do no 

harm, 
Pervidin' thet you '11 ondertake to oversee the farm ; 
(My eldes' boy is so took up, wut with the Eingtail 

Eangers 
An' settin' in the Jestice-Court for welcomin' o' 

strangers" ;) 



26 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

[He sot on me/] " an' so, ef yon Tl jest ondertake the 

care 
Upon a mod' rit sellery, Ave '11 up an' call it square ; 
But ef you cant conclude/' suz she, an' give a kin' o' 

grin, 
" Wy, the Gran' Jury, I expect, '11 hev to set agin." 
Thet 's the way metters stood at fust ; now wut wuz I 

to du, 
But jest to make the best on'tan' off coat an' buckle tu ? 
Ther ain't a livin' man thet finds an income neces- 

sarier 
Than me, — bimeby I'll tell ye how I fin'lly come to 

merry her. 

She lied another motive, tu : I mention of it here 

T encourage lads thet's growin' up to study 'n' per- 

severe, 
An' show 'em how much better 't pays to mind their 

winter- schoolin' 
Than to go off on benders 'n' sech, an' waste their time 

in foolin' ; 
Ef 't warn't for study in' evenins, I never 'd ha' been 

here 
An orn'ment o' saciety, in my approprut spear : 
She wanted somebody, ye see, o' taste an' cultivation, 
To talk along o' preachers when they stopt to the planta- 
tion ; 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 27 

For folks in Dixie th't read an' write/ onless it is by 
jarks 

L 

Is skurce ez wut they wuz among th' oridgenal patri- 
archs ; 
To fit a feller f ' wut they call the soshle higherarchy, 
All thet you 've gut to know is jest beyund an evrage 

darky ; 
Schoolin' 's wut they can't seem to stan', they 're tu 

consarned high-pressure, 
An' knowin' t' much might spile a hoy for bein' a 

Secesher. 
We hain't no settled preachin' here, ner minis teril 

taxes ; 
The min'ster's only settlement 's the carpet-bag he packs 

his 
Eazor an' soap-brush intu, with his hymbook an his 

Bible,— 
Eut they du preach, T swan to man, it 's puf 'kly inde- 

scrib'le ! 
They go it like an Ericsson's ten-hoss-power coleric 

ingine, 
An' make Ole Split-Foot winch an' squirm, for all he 's 

used to singein' ; 
Hawkins's whetstone ain't a pinch o' primin' to the 

innards 
To hearin' on 'em put free grace t' a lot o' tough old 

sin-hards ! 



28 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

But I must eend this letter now : 'fore long I'll send a 

fresh un : 
I 've lots o' things to write about, perticklerly Seceshun : 
I : ni called off now to mission-work, to let a lee tie 

law in 
To Cynthy's hide : an' so, till death, 

Yourn, 

LlRDOFREDUM SaWIX, 



MASON AND SEIDELL : A YANKEE IDYLL. 

To the Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaalam, 6th Jan., 1862. 

Gentlemen — I was highly gratified by the insertion of a 
portion of my letter in the last number of your valuable and 
entertaining Miscellany, though in a type which rendered its 
substance inaccessible even to the beautiful new spectacles 
presented to me by a Committee of the Parish on New- Year's 
Day. I trust that I was able to bear your very considerable 
abridgment of my lucubrations with a spirit becoming a Chris- 
tian. My third grand-daughter, Rebekah, aged fourteen years, 
and whom I have trained to read slowly and with proper em- 
phasis (a practice too much neglected in our modern systems 
of education), read aloud to me the excellent essay upon " Old 
Age," the authour of which I cannot help suspecting to be a 
young man who has never yet known what it was to have 
snow (canities morosa) upon his own roof. Dissolve frigus, 
large super foco ligna reponens, is a rule for the young, whose 
wood-pile is yet abundant for such cheerful lenitives. A good 
life behind him is the best thing to keep an old man's shoulders 
from shivering at every breath of sorrow or ill-fortune. But 
methinks it were easier for an old man to feel the disad- 
vantages of youth than the advantages of age. Of these latter 
I reckon one of the chiefest to be this ; that we attach a less 
inordinate value to our own productions, and, distrusting daily 
more and more our own wisdom (with the conceit whereof at 
twenty we wrap ourselves away from knowledge as with a 



30 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 



garment), do reconcile ourselves with the wisdom of God. I 
could have wished, indeed, that room might have been made 
for the residue of the anecdote relating to Deacon Tinkham, 
which would not only have gratified a natural curiosity on the 
part of the publick (as I have reason to know from several 
letters of inquiry already received), but would also, as I think, 
have largely increased the circulation of your Magazine in this 
town. Nihil humani alienum, there is a curiosity about the 
affairs of our neighbours which is not only pardonable, but 
even commendable. But I shall abide a more fitting season. 

As touching the following literary effort of Esquire Biglow, 
much might be profitably said on the topick of Idyllick and 
Pastoral Poetry, and concerning the proper distinctions to be 
made between them, from Theocritus, the inventor of the 
former, to Collins, the latest authour I know of who has 
emulated the classicks in the latter style. But in the time 
of civil war worthy a Milton to defend and a Lucan to sing, 
it may be reasonably doubted whether the publick, never 
too studious of serious instruction, might not consider other 
objects more deserving of present attention. Concerning 
the title of Idyll, which Mr. Biglow has adopted at my sugges- 
tion, it may not be improper to animadvert, that the name 
properly signifies a poem somewhat rustick in phrase (for, 
though the learned are not agreed as to the particular dialect 
employed by Theocritus, they are universanimous both as to 
its rusticity and its capacity of rising now and then to the 
level of more elevated sentiments and expressions), while it is 
also descriptive of real scenery and manners. Yet it must be 
admitted that the production now in question (which here and 
there bears perhaps too plainly the marks of my correcting 
hand) does partake of the nature of a Pastoral, inasmuch as 
the interlocutors therein are purely imaginary beings, and the 
whole is little better than Kanvov ctkuis ovap. The plot was, 



THE BIG LOW PAPERS. 31 

as I believe, suggested by the " Twa Briggs " of Robert 
Burns, a Scottish poet of the last century, as that found its 
prototype in the " Mutual Complaint of Plainstanes and 
Causey " by Eergusson, though the metre of this latter be 
different by a foot in each verse. I reminded my talented 
young parishioner and friend that Concord Bridge had long 
since yielded to the edacious tooth of Time. But he answered 
me to this effect : that there was no greater mistake of an 
authour than to suppose the reader had no fancy of his own ; 
that, if once that faculty was to be called into activity, it were 
better to be in for the whole sheep than the shoulder ; and 
that he knew Concord like a book — an expression question- 
able in propriety, since there are few things with which he is 
not more familiar than with the printed page. In proof of 
what he affirmed, he showed me some verses which with 
others he had stricken out as too much delaying the action, 
but which I commuuicate in this place because they rightly 
define " punkin-seed " (which Mr. Bartlett would have a kind 
of perch — a creature to which I have found a rod or pole 
not to be so easily equivalent in our inland waters as in the 
books of arithmetic), and because it conveys an eulogium on 
the worthy son of an excellent father, with whose acquaint- 
ance (elieu, fug aces anni!) I was formerly honoured. 

" But nowadays the Bridge ain't wut they show, 
So much ez Em'som, Hawthorne, an' Thoreau. 
I know the village, though : was sent there once 
A-schoolin', coz to home I played the dunce; 
An' I 've ben sence a-visitin' the Jedge, 
Whose garding whispers with the river's edge, 
"Where I 've sot mornin's lazy as the bream, 
Whose only business is to head up-stream, 
(We call 'm punkin-seed,) or else in chat 
Along 'th the Jedge, who covers with his hat 
More wit an' gumption an' shrewd Yankee sense 
Than there is mosses on an ole stone fence." 



32 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Concerning the subject-matter of the verses, I have not the 
leisure at present to write so fully as I could wish, my time 
being occupied with the preparation of a discourse for the 
forthcoming bi-centenary celebration of the first settlement of 
Jaalam East Parish. It may gratify the publick interest to 
mention the circumstance, that my investigations to this end 
have enabled me to verify the fact (of much historic!: import- 
ance, and hitherto hotly debated) that JShearjashub Tarbox 
was the first child of white parentage born in this town, being 
named in his father's will under date August 7 th , or 9 th , 1662. 
It is well known that those who advocate the elaims of 
Mehetable Goings, are unable to find any trace of her exist- 
ence prior to October of that year. As respects the settle- 
ment of the Mason and Slidell question, Mr. JBiglov has not 
incorrectly stated the popular sentiment, so far as I can judge 
by its expression in this locality. Tor myself, I feel more 
sorrow than resentment ; for I am old enough to have heard 
those talk of England who still, even after the unhappy 
estrangement, could not unschool their lips from calling her 
the Mother-Country. But Englaud has insisted on ripping up 
old wounds, and has undone the healing work of fifty years; 
for nations do not reason, they only feel, and the spreta 
injuria forma rankles in their minds as bitterly as in that ot 
a woman. And because this is so, I feel the more satisfac- 
tion that our Government has acted (as all Governments 
should, standing as they do between the people and their pas- 
sions) as if it had arrived at years of discretion. There are 
three short and simple words, the hardest of all to pronounce 
in any language (and I suspect they were no easier before 
the confusion of tongues), but which no man or nation that 
cannot utter can claim to have arrived at manhood. Those 
words are, / was wrong ; and I am proud that, while England 
played the boy, our rulers had strength enough from below 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 23 

and wisdom enough from above to quit themselves like men. 
Let us strengthen the hands of those in authority over us, 
and curb our own tongues,* remembering tbat General Wait 
commonly proves in the end more than a match for General 
Headlong, and that the Good Book ascribes safety to a multi- 
tude, indeed, but not to a mob, of counsellours. Let us re- 
member and perpend the words of Paulus Emilius to the 
people of Rome : that, " if they judged they could manage the 
war to more advantage by any other, he would willingly yield 
up his charge ; but if they confided in him, they were not to 
make themselves his colleagues in his office, or raise reports, or 
criticize his actions, but, without talking, supply him with means 
and assistance necessary to the carrying on of the war ; for, ij 
they proposed to command their own commander, they would 
render this expedition more ridiculous than the former ." {Vide 
Plutarchum in vita P. K) Let us also not forget what the 

* And not only our own tongues, but the pens of others, which are 
swift to convey useful intelligence to the enemy. This is no new incon- 
venience ; for, under date, 3d June, 1745, General Pepperell wrote thus 
to Governor Shirley from Louisbourg : — " What your Excellency observes 
of the army's being made acquainted with any plans proposed, until ready 
to be put in execution, has always been disagreeable to me, and I have 
given many cautions relating to it. But when your Excellency considers 
that our Council of War consists of more than twenty members, I am per- 
suaded you will think it impossible for me to hinder it, if any of them will 
persist in communicating to inferior officers and soldiers what ought to be 
kept secret. I am informed that the Boston newspapers are filled with 
paragraphs from private letters relating to the expedition. Will your 
Excellency permit me to say I think it may be of ill consequence ? Would 
it not be convenient, if your Excellency should forbid the Printers' insert- 
ing such news ?" Verily, if tempora mutantur, we may question the et 
nos mutamurin illis ; and if topgues be leaky, it will need all hands at the 
pumps to save the Ship of State. Our history dotes and repeats itself. 
If Sassycus (rather than Alcibiades) find a parallel in Beauregard, so 
Weakwash, as he is called by the brave Lieutenant Lion Gardiner, need 
not seek far among our own Sachems for his antitype. 



34- THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

same excellent authour says concerning PerseusV fear of 
spending money, and not permit the covetousness of Brother 
Jonathan to be the good-fortune of Jefferson Davis. For my 
own part, till I am ready to admit the Commander-in-Chief to 
my pulpit, I shall abstain from planning his battles. Patience 
is the armour of a nation ; and in our desire for peace, let us 
never be willing to surrender the Constitution bequeathed us 
by fathers at least as wise as ourselves (even with Jefferson 
Davis to help us), and, with those degenerate Romans, tufa et 
presentia quani vetera et periculosa malle. 

"With respect, 

Your ob* humble serv*, 

Homer Wilbuk, A.M. 



I love to start out arter night 's begun, 

An' all the chores about the farm are done, 

The critters milked an' foddered, gates shet fast, 

Tools cleaned aginst to-morrcr, supper past, 

An' ]N"ancy darnin' by her ker'sene lamp, — 

I love, I say, to start upon a tramp, 

To shake the kinkles out o' back an' legs, 

An' kind o' rack my life off from the dregs 

Thet 's apt to settle in the buttery-hutch 

Of folks thet foller in one rut too much : 

Hard work is good an' wholesome, past all doubt ; 

But 't ain't so, ef the mind gets tuckered out. 



THE BIGL0W PAPERS. 35 

Now, "bein , born in Middlesex, you know, 

There 's certin spots where I like best to go : 

The Concord road, for instance, (I, for one, 

Most gin'lly oilers call it John Bull's Run,) — 

The field o' Lexin'ton, where England tried 

The fastest colours thet she ever dyed, — 

An' Concord Bridge, thet Davis, when he came, 

Found was the bee-line track to heaven an' fame, — 

Ez all roads be by natur', ef your soul 

Don't sneak thru shun-pikes so 's to save the toll. 

They're 'most too fur away, take too much time 

To visit often, ef it ain't in rhyme ; 

But there 's a walk thet 's hendier, a sight, 

An' suits me fust-rate of a winter's night, — 

I mean the round whale's-back o' Prospect Hill. 

I love to loiter there while night grows still, 

An' in the twinklin' villages about, 

Eust here, then there, the well-saved lights goes out, 

An' nary sound but watch-dogs' false alarms, 

Or muffled cock-crows from the drowsy farms, 

Where some wise rooster (men act jest thet way) 

Stands to 't thet moon-rise is the break o' day : 

So Mister Seward sticks a three-months pin 

Where the war ; d oughto end, then tries agin ; — 

My gran'ther's rule was safer n' 't is to crow : 

DonH never prophesy — onless ye know. 



36 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

I love to muse there till it kind o' seems 
Ez ef the world went eddy in' off in dreams. 
The Northwest wind thet twitches at my baird 
Blows out o' sturdier days not easy scared, 
An' the same moon thet this December shines 
Starts out the tents an' booths o' Putnam's lines ; 
The rail-fence posts, acrost the hill thet runs, 
Turn ghosts o' sogers should'rin' ghosts o' guns ; 
Ez wheels the sentry, glints a flash o' light 
Along the firelock won at Concord Fight, 
An' 'twixt the silences, now fur, now nigh, 
Eings the sharp chellenge, hums the low reply. 

Ez I was settin' so, it warn't long sence, 

Mixin' the perfect with the present tense, 

I heerd two voices som'ers in the air, 

Though, ef I was to die, I can't tell where : 

Voices I call 'em : 't was a kind o' sough 

Like pine-trees thet the wind is geth'rin' through ; 

An', fact, I thought it was the wind a spell, — 

Then some misdoubted, — could n't fairly tell, — 

Eust sure, then not, jest as you hold an eel, — 

I knowed, an' did n't, — fin'lly seemed to feel 

'T was Concord Bridge a-talkin' off to kill 

With the Stone Spike thet 's druv thru Bunker Hill : 

Whether 't was so, or ef I only dreamed, 

I could n't say ; I tell it ez it seemed. 




THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 37 

THE BRIDGE. 

Wal, neighbor, tell us, wut 's turned up thet 's new ? 

You 're younger 'n I be, — nigber Boston, tu : 

An' down to Eoston, ef you take tbeir showin, 

Wut tbey don't know ain't hardly wutb the knowin'. 

There 's sunthin* goin' on, I know : las' night 

The British sogers killed in our gret fight 

(Nigh fifty year they hed n't stirred nor spoke) 

Made sech a coil you 'd thought a darn hed broke : 

Why, one he up an' beat a revellee 

With his own crossbones on a holler tree, 

Till all the graveyards swarmed out like a hive 

With faces I hain't seen sence Seventy-five. 

Wut is the news ] 'T ain't good, or they ; d be cheerin'. 

Speak slow an' clear, for I 'm some hard o' hearin'. 

THE MONIltENT. 

I don't know hardly ef it 's good or bad, 



THE BRIDGE,. 

At wust, it can't be wus than wut we We had. 

THE MOSnOfSHT. 

You know them envys thet the Eebbles sent, 
An' Cap'n Wilkes he berried o' the Trent ? 

THE BRIDGE. 

Wut ! hev they hanged 'em ] Then their wits is gone ! 
Thet 's a sure way to make a goose a swan ! 



38 THE BIGL0W PAPERS. 

THE MONIMENT. 

No : England she would hev 'em, Fee, Faw, Fum ! 
(Ez though she hed n't fools enough to home,) 
So they 've returned 'em 

THE BRIDGE. 

Hev they ? Wal, by heaven, 
Thet 's the wust news I 've heerd sence Seventy-seven ! 
By George, I meant to say, though I declare 
It 's 'most enough to make a deacon swear. 

THE MONIMENT. 

Now don't go off half-cock : folks never gains 
By usin' pepper-sarse instid o' brains. 
Come, neighbor, you don't understand 

THE BRIDGE. 

How ? Hey 1 

Not understand ? Why, wut 's to hender, pray ? 
Must I go huntin' round to find a chap 
To tell me when my face hez had a slap ? 

THE MONIMENT. 

See here : the British they found out a flaw 

In Cap'n Wilkes's readin' o' the law : 

(They make all laws, you know, an' so, o' course, 

It's nateral they should understand their force :) 

He 'd oughto took the vessel into port, 

An' hed her sot on by a reg'lar court ; 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 39 

She was a mail-ship, an' a steamer, tu, 

An' thet, they say, hez changed the pint o' view, 

Coz the old practice, bein' meant for sails, 

Ef tried upon a steamer, kind o ? fails ; 

You may take out despatches, but you mus' n't 

Take nary man 

THE BRIDGE. 

You mean to say, you dus' n't \ 
Changed pint o' view ! No, no, — it 's overboard 
With law an' gospel, when their ox is gored ! 
I tell ye, England's law, on sea an' land, 
Hez oilers ben, " I *ve gut the heaviest hand. 13 
Take nary man 1 Eine preachin' from Iter lips ! 
Why, she hez taken hundreds from our ships, 
An' would agin, an' swear she had a right to, 
Ef we warn't strong enough to be perlite to. 
Of all the sarse thet I can call to mind, 
England doos make the most onpleasant kind : 
It 's you 're the sinner oilers, she 's the saint ; 
Wut 's good 's all English, all thet is n't ain't ; 
Wut profits her is oilers right an' just, 
An' ef you don't read Scriptur so, you must ; 
She 's praised herself ontil she fairly thinks 
There ain't no light in Natur when she winks ; 
Hain't she the Ten Comman'ments in her pus ? 
Could the world stir 'thout she went, tu, ez nus J 



40 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

She ain't like other mortals, thet 's a fact : 
She never stopped the habus-corpus act, 
2STor specie payments, nor she never yet 
Cut down the int'rest on her public debt ; 
She don't put down rebellions, lets 'em breed, 
An' 's oilers willin' Ireland should secede ; 
She 's all thet 's honest, honnable, an' fair, 
An' when the vartoos died they made her heir. 

THE MONIMENT. 

Wal, wal, two wrongs don't never make a right ; 
Ef we 're mistaken, own it, an' don't fight : 
For gracious' sake, hain't we enough to du 
'Thout git tin' up a fight with England, tu ? 
She thinks we 're rabble-rid 

THE BRIDGE. 

An' so we can't 
Distinguish 'twixt You our/lit rit an' You shan't ! 
She jedges by herself; she 's no idear 
How 't stiddies folks to give 'em their fair sheer : 
The odds 'twixt her an' us is plain 'a a steeple, — 
Her People 's tinned to Mob, our Mob 's turned People. 

THE MONIMENT. 

She 's riled jes' now 

THE BRID(. 

Plain j)roof her cause ain't strong, — 
The one thet fust gits mad \s most oilers wrong. 



THE BIGL0W PAPE11S. 41 

THE MONIMENT. 

You 're oilers quick to set your back aridge, — 
Though 't suits a tom-cat more 'n a sober bridge : 
Don't you git het : they thought the thing was planned ; 
They '11 cool off when they come to understand. 

THE BRIDGE. 

Ef ihet 's wut you expect, you '11 hev to wait : 

Folks never understand the folks they hate : 

She '11 fin' some other grievance jest ez good, 

Tore the month 's out, to git misunderstood. 

England cool off ! She '11 do it, ef she sees 

She 's run her head into a swarm o' bees. 

I ain't so prejudiced ez wut you spose : 

I hev thought England was the best thet goes ; 

Kemember, (no, you can't,) when / was reared, 

God save the King was all the tune you heerd : 

But it 's enough to turn "Wachuset roun', 

This stumpin' fellers when you think they 're down. 

THE MONIMENT. 

But, neighbor, ef they prove their claim at law, 
The best way is to settle, an' not jaw. 
An' don't le' 's mutter 'bout the awfle bricks 
We '11 give 'em, ef we ketch 'em in a fix : 
That 'ere ? s most frequently the kin' o' talk 
Of critters can't be kicked to toe the chalk ; 



42 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Your " You 11 see ?iex > time ! " an* " Look out bimeby ! " 

Most oilers ends in eat in' umble-pie. 

'T wun't pay to scringe to England : will it pay 

To fear thet meaner bully, old " They '11 say " ? 

Suppose they du say : words are dreffle bores, 

Eut they ain't quite so bad ez seventy-fours. 

"Wut England wants is jest a wedge to fit 

AVI i ere it '11 help to widen out our split : 

She 's found her wedge, an' 't ain't for us to come 

An' lend the beetle thet 's to drive it home. 

For growed-up folks like us 't would be a scandle, 

When we git sarsed, to fly right off the handle 

England ain't all bad, coz she thinks us blind : 

Ef she can't change her skin, she can her mind ; 

An' you will see her change it double-qnick, 

Soon ez we 've proved thet we 're a-goin' to lick. 

She an' Columby's gut to be fas' friends ; 

Eur the world prospers by their privit ends ■ 

'T would put the clock back all o' fifty yew 

Ef they should Ml together by the ears. 

THE BRIDGi:. 

You may be right ; but hearken in your car, — 

I 'in older 'n you, — Peace wun't keep house with Fear'. 

Ef you want peace, the thing you 've gut to du 

Is jest to show you 're up to fightin', tu. 

I recollect how sailors' rights was won 



THE BTGLOW PAPERS. 43 

Yard locked in yard, hot gun-lip kissin' gun : 
Why, afore thet, John Bull sot up thet he 
Hed gut a kind o' mortgage on the sea ; 
You'd thought he held by Gran'ther Adam's will, 
An' ef you knuckle down, he '11 think so still. 
Better thet all our ships an' all their crews 
Should sink to rot in ocean's dreamless ooze, 
Each torn flag wavin' chellenge ez it went, 
An' each dumb gun a brave man's monument, 
Than seek sech peace ez only cowards crave : 
Give me the peace of dead men or of brave ! 

THE MONIMENT. 

I say, ole boy, it ain't the Glorious Fourth : 

You ; d oughto learned 'fore this wut talk wuz worth. 

It ain't our nose thet gits put out o' jint ; 

It 's England thet gives up her dearest pint. 

We 've gut, I tell ye now, enough to du 

In our own fem'ly fight, afore we 're thru. 

I hoped, las' spring, jest arter Sumter's shame, 

When every flag-staff flapped its tethered flame, 

An' all the people, startled from their doubt, 

Come must'rin' to the flag with sech a shout, — 

I hoped to see things settled 'fore this fall, 

The Rebbles licked, Jeff Davis hanged, an' ail ; 

Then come Bull Run, an' sence then I 've ben waitin' 

Like boys in Jennooary thaw for skatin', 



4-i THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

No thin' to du but watch my shadder's trace 
Swing, like a ship at anchor, roun' my base, 
With daylight's flood an' ebb : it's gittin' slow, 
An' I 'most think we 'd better let 'em go. 
I tell ye wut, this war 's a-goin' to cost 

THE BRIDGE. 

An' I tell you it won't be money lost ; 

Taxes milks dry, but, neighbor, you '11 allow 

Thet havin' tilings onsettled kills the cow : 

"We 've gut to fix this thing for good an' all ; 

It 's no use buildin wut 's a-goin' to fall. 

I 'm older 'n you, an' I 've seen things an' men, 

An' here 's wut my experience hez ben : 

Folks thet worked thorough was the ones thet thriv, 

lint bad work follers ye ez long's ye live ; 

You can't git red on't ; jest ez sure ez sin, 

It's oilers askin to be done agin : 

Ef we should part, it would n't be a week 

Tore your soft-soddi red peace would spring aleak. 

AVe 've turned our cuffs up, but, to put her thru, 

We must git mad an' off with jackets, tu ; 

*T want du to think thet killin' ain't perlite, — 

You 've gut to be in aim est, ef you fight ; 

"Why, two- thirds o' the Eebbles 'ould cut dirt, 

Ef they once thought thet Guv'ment meant to hurt ; 

An' I du wish our Gin'rals hed in mind 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 45 

The folks in front more than the folks behind ; 

You wun't do much ontil you think it 's G-od, 

An' not constitoounts, thet holds the rod ; 

We want some more o' Gideon's sword, I jedge, 

Eor proclamations hain't no gret of edge ; 

There 's nothin' for a cancer but the knife, 

Onless you set by 't more than by your life. 

/ Ve seen hard times ; I see a war begun 

Thet folks thet love their bellies never 'd won, — 

Pharo 's lean kine hung on for seven long year, — 

But when 't was done, we did n't count it dear. 

Why, law an' order, honor, civil right, 

Ef they ain't wuth it, wut is wuth a fight 1 

I 'm older 'n you : the plough, the axe, the mill, 

All kinds o' labor an' all kinds o' skill, 

Would be a rabbit in a wile-cat's claw, 

Ef 't warn't for thet slow critter, 'stablished law ; 

Onsettle thet, an' all the world goes whiz, 

A screw is loose in everythin' there is : 

Good buttresses once settled, don't you fret 

An' stir 'em : take a bridge's word for thet ! 

Young folks are smart, but all ain't good thet 's new ; 

I guess the gran'thers they knowed sunthin', tu. 

THE MONIMENT. 

Amen to thet ! build sure in the beginning 
An' then don't never tech the underpinnin' : 



46 THE BIG LOW TAPERS. 

Th' older a Guv'ment is, the better 't suits ; 
Xew ones hunt folks' s corns out like new book : 
Change jest for change is like those big hotels 
Where they shift plates, an' let ye live on smells. 

THE BRIDGE. 

Wal, don't give up afore the ship goes down : 

It 's a stiff gale, but Providence wun't drown ; 

An' God won't leave us yet to sink or swim, 

Ef we don't fail to du wut 's right by Him. 

This land o' ourn, I tell ye, 's gut to be 

A better country than man ever see. 

I feel my sperit swellin' with a cry 

Thet seems to say, "Break forth an' prophesy !" 

strange New World, thet yet wast never young, 

Whose youth from thee by gripin' need was wrung, — 

Brown foundlin' o' the woods, whose baby-bed 

Was prowled round by the Injun's cracklin' tread, 

An' who grew'st strong thru shifts an' wants an' pains, 

Xussed by stern men with empires in their brains, 

Who saw in vision their young Ishmel strain 

With each hard hand a vassal ocean's mane, — 

Thou, skilled by Freedom an' by gret events 

To pitch new States ez Old- World men pitch tents, — 

Thou, taught by Fate to know Jehovah's plan 

Thet only manhood ever makes a man, 

An' whose free latch-string never was drawed in 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 47 

Aginst the poorest* child o~ Adam's kin, — 

The grave 's not dug where traitor hands shall lay 

In fearful haste thy murdered corse away ! 

I see 

Jest here some dogs began to bark, 
So thet I lost old Concord's last remark : 
I listened long, but all I seemed to hear 
Was dead leaves goss'pin" on some birch-trees near ; 
But ez they hed n't no gret things to say, 
An' said "em often, I come right away, 
An', walkin" home'ards, jest to pass the time, 
I put some thoughts thet bothered me in rhyme : 
I hain't hed time to fairly try 'em on, 
But here they be, — it 's 



JONATHAN TO JOHN 

It don't seem hardly right, John, 
When both my hands was full, 
To stump me to a fight, John, — 
Your cousin, tu, John Bull 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess 

We know it now/" sez he, 

" The lion's paw is all the law, 

Accordin' to J. B., 

Thet "s fit for you an me I* 1 



48 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Blood ain't so cool as ink, John : 

It 's likely yon 'd ha' wrote, 
An' stopped a spell to think, John, 
Arter they 'd cnt yonr throat 1 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, H I gness 

He 'd sknrce ha' stopped,'' sez he, 

11 To mind his p-s an 7 q-s, ef thet weasan* 

Hed b'longed to ole J. B., 

Instid o' yon an' me ! " 

Ef 1 turned mad dogs loose, John, 

On your front-parlor stairs, 
Would it jest meet yonr views, John, 
To wait an' sue their heirs ] 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 
I on'y guess," sez he, 
" Thet, ef Vattel on his toes fell, 
'T would kind o' rile J. B., 
Ez wal ez you an' me !" 

Who made the law thet hurts, John, 

Heads I win, — ditto, tails ? 
" J. By was on his shirts, John, 
Onless my memory fails. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 
(I 'm good at thet,)" sez he, 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 49 

"Thet sauce for goose ain't jest the juice 
For ganders with J. B., 
No more than you or me ! " 

When your rights was our wrongs, John, 

You did n't stop for fuss, — 
lSritanny's trident-prongs, John, 
Was good 'nough law for us. 
' Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 
Though physic 's good," sez he, 
" It does n't foller thet he can swaller 
Prescriptions signed l J. B.] 
Put up by you an' me !" 

We own the ocean, tu, John : 

You mus' n't take it hard, 
Ef we can't think with you, John, 
It 's jest your own back-yard. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 
Ef thet *s his claim," sez he, 
" The fencin'-stuff '11 cost enough 
To bust up friend J. B., 
Ez wal ez you an' me !" 

Why talk so dreffle big, John, 

Of honor, when it meant 
You did n't care a fig, John, 

But jest for ten per cent. ? 



50 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess, 

He 's like the rest," sez he : 

" When all is done, it 's number one 

Thet 's nearest to J. B., 

Ez wal ez you an' me ! " 



We give the critters back, John, 

Cos Abram thought 't was right ; 
It warn't your bullym' clack, J oh a, 
Provokin' us to fight. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess 

We 've a hard row," sez he, 

" To hoe jest now ; but thet, somehow, 

May heppen to J. B., 

Ez wal ez vou an 1 me ! " 



We ain't so weak an' poor, John, 

With twenty million people, 
Aii' close to every door, John, 
A school-house an' a steeple. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guesB 
I It is a fact," sez he, 

" The surest plan to make a Man 
Is, Think him so, J. B., 
Ez much ez you or me ! " 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 51 

Our folks believe in Law, John ; 

An it 's for her sake, now, 
They ; ve left the axe an' saw, John, 
The anvil an' the plough. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 

Ef 't warn't for law," sez he, 

" There 'd be one shindy from here to Incrj ; 

An thet don't suit J. B. 

(When 't ain't 'twixt you an 7 me !) " 

We know we Ve gut a cause, John, 

Thet *a honest, just, an 7 true ; 
We thought 't would win applause, John, 
Ef nowheres else, from you. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess 

His love of right," sez he, 

" Hangs by a rotten fibre o' cotton. : 

There 's natur in J. B. f 

Ez wal ez you an' me ! n 

The South says, " Poor folks down I " John, 

An' " A 11 men up ! " say we, — 
White, yaller, black, an' brown, John : 
Now which is your idee 1 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, " I guess, 
John preaches wal," sez he ; 



-52 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

" But, sermon thru, an' come to d>(, 
Why, there 's the old J. B. 
A crowdin' you an' me ! " 

Shall it be love, or hate, John ? 

It 's you thet 's to decide ; 
Ain't your bonds held by Fate, John, 
Like all the world's beside ? 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess 

Wise men forgive," sez he, 

" But not forget ; an' some time yet 

Thet truth may strike J. B., 

Ez val ez you an' me ! " 

( Jod means to make this land, John, 

Clear thru, from sea to s< 
Believe an' understand! John, 
Tin; mtth o' bein' free. 

Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess, 
God's price is high," sez he ; 
"But nothin' else than wilt He sells 
Wears long, an' thet J. 1 >. 
May learn like you an' mc ' " 



BIRDOFREDUM SAWIN, ESQ., TO MR. HOSEA 

BIGLOW. 

With the following Letter from the Reverend Homer 

Wilbur, A.M. 

To the Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaalam, 7th F«b., 1862. 

Respected Eriends, — If I know myself, and surely a man 
can hardly be supposed to have overpassed the limit of four- 
score years without attaining to some proficiency in that most 
useful branch of learning, (e ceelo descendit, says the pagan 
poet,) I have no great smack of that weakness which would; 
press upon the publick attention any matter pertaining to my 
private affairs. But since the following letter of Mr. Sawin 
contains not only a direct allusion to myself, but that in con- 
nection with a topick of interest to all those engaged in the 
publick ministrations of the sanctuary, 1 may be pardoned for 
touching briefly thereupon. Mr. Sawin was never a stated 
attendant upon my preaching — neyer, as 1 believe, even an 
occasional one, since the erection of the new house (where we 
now worship) in 1845. He did, indeed, for a time, supply a 
not unacceptable bass in the choir; but, whether on some 
umbrage {omnibus hoc vitium est cantoribus) taken against the 
bass-viol, then, and till his decease in 1850, {at. 77,) under 
the charge of Mr. Asaph Perley, or, as was reported by others-, 
on account of an imminent subscription for a new bell, he 
thenceforth absented himself from all outward and visible 
communion. Yet he seems to have preserved, {altd mente 



54 THE B1GL0W PAPERS. 

rejiosium,) as it were, in the pickle of a mind soured by pre- 
judice, a lasting scunner, as he would call it, against our staid 
and decent form of worship ; for I would rather in that wise 
interpret his fling, than suppose that any chance tares sown 
by my pulpit discourses should survive so long, while good 
seed too often fails to root itself. I humbly trust that I have 
no personal feeling in the matter; though I know, that, if we 
sound any man deep enough, our lead shall bring up the mud 
of human nature at last. The Bretons believe in an evil spirit 
which they call ar (fkouskezik, whose office it is to make the 
congregation drowsy ; and though I have never had reason to 
think that he was specially busy among my flock, yet have I 
seen enough to make me sometimes regret the hinged seats of 
the aucient meeting-house, whose lively clatter, not- unwillingly 
intensified by boys beyond eyeshot of the tithing-man, served 
at intervals as a wholesome recoil. It is true, I have num- 
bered among my parishioners some whose gift of somnolence 
rivalled that of the Cretan Rip van Winkle, Epimenides, aud 
who, nevertheless, complained not so much of the substance 
as of the length of my (by them unheard) discourses. Happy 
Saint Anthony of Padua, whose finny acolytes, however they 
might profit, could never murmur! Qua re fremucrunt gontes ? 
Who is he that can twice a week be inspired, or has eloquence 
{id it a dicam) always on tap ? A good man, and, next to David, 
a sacred poet, (himself, haply, not inexpert of evil in this par- 
ticular,) has said, — 

" The worst speak something good : if all waut sense, 
God takes a text and preacheth patience." 

There are one or two other points in Mr. Sawin's letter 
which I would also briefly animadvert upon. And first con- 
cerning the claim he sets up to a certain superiority of blood 
and lineage in the people of our Southern States, now unhap- 
pily in rebellion against lawful authority and their own better 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 55 

interests. There is a sort of opinions, anachronisms and ana- 
chorisms, foreign both to the age and the country, that main- 
tain a feeble and buzzing existence, scarce to be called life, 
like winter flies, which in mild weather crawl out from obscure 
nooks and crannies to expatiate in the sun, and sometimes 
acquire vigour enough to disturb with their enforced fami- 
liarity the studious hours of the scholar. One of the most 
stupid and pertinacious of these is the theory that the Southern 
States were settled by a class of emigrants from the Old 
World socially superior to those who founded the institutions 
of New England. The Yirginians especially lay claim to this 
generosity of lineage, which were of no possible account, were 
it not for the fact that such superstitions are sometimes not 
without their effect on the course of human affairs. The early 
adventurers to Massachusetts at least paid their passages ; no 
felons were ever shipped thither ; and though it be true that 
many deboshed younger brothers of what are called good 
families may have sought refuge in Virginia, it is equally cer- 
tain that a great part of the early deportations thither were 
the sweepings of the London streets and the leavings of the 
London stews. On what the heralds call the spindle side, 
some, at least, of the oldest Virginian families are descended 
from matrons who were exported and sold for so many hogs- 
heads of tobacco the head. So notorious was this, that it 
became one of the jokes of contemporary playwrights, not 
only that men bankrupt in purse and character were " food 
for the Plantations," (and this before the settlement of New 
England,) but also that any drab would suffice to wive such 
pitiful adventurers. " Never choose a wife as if you were 
going to Virginia/' says Middleton in one of his comedies. 
The mule is apt to forget all but the equine side of his pedi- 
gree. How early the counterfeit nobility of the Old Dominion 
became a topick of ridicule in the Mother Country may be 



56 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

learned from a play of Mrs. Behn's, founded on the Rebellion 
of Bacon : for even these kennels of literature may yield a 
fact or two to pay the raking. Mrs. Flirt, the keeper of a 
Virginia ordinary, calls herself the daughter of a baronet " un- 
done in the late rebellion," — her father having in truth been a 
tailor,— and three of the Council, assuming to themselves an 
equal splendour of origin, are shown to have been, one "a 
broken exciseman who came over a poor servant," another a 
tinker transported for theft, and the third "a common pick- 
pocket often flogged at the cart's tail." The ancestry of South 
Carolina will as little pass muster at the Herald's Visitation, 
though I hold them to have been more reputable, inasmuch as 
many of them were honest tradesmen and artisans, in some 
measure exiles for conscience' sake, who would have smiled at 
the high-flying nonsense of their descendants. Some of the 
more respectable were Jews. The absurdity of supposing a 
population of eight millions all sprung from gentle loins in the 
course of a century and a half is too manifest for confutation. 
The aristocracy of the South, such as it is, has the shallowest 
of all foundations, for it is only skin-deep, — the most odious 
of all, for, while affecting to despise trade, it traces its origin 
to a successful traffick in men, women, and children, and still 
draws its chief revenues thence. And though, as Doctor 
Chamberlayne says in his Present State of England, " to be- 
come a Merchant of Foreign Commerce, without serving any 
Apprsntisage, hath been allowed no disparagement to a Gen- 
tleman born, especially to a younger Brother," yet I conceive 
that he would hardly have made a like exception in favour of 
the particular trade in question. Nor do I believe that such 
aristocracy as exists at the South (for I hold with Marius, 
fortissimum quemque generosissimum) will be found an element 
of anything like persistent strength in war, — thinking the 
saying of Lord Bacon (whom one quaintly called inductionis 



THE B1GL0W PAPERS. 57 

dominus et Verulamii) as true as it is pithy, that " the more 
gentlemen, ever the lower books of subsidies." It is odd 
enough as an historical precedent, that, while the fathers of 
New England were laying deep in religion, education, and 
freedom the basis of a polity which has substantially outlasted 
any then existing, the first work of the founders of Virginia, 
as may be seen in Wingfield's Memorial, was conspiracy and 
rebellion, — odder yet, as showing the changes which are 
wrought by circumstance, that the first insurrection in South 
Carolina was against the aristocratical scheme of the Proprie- 
tary Government. I do not find that the cuticular aristocracy 
of the South has added anything to the refinements of civili- 
zation except the carrying of bowie-knives and the chewing of 
tobacco, — a high-toned Southern gentleman being commonly 
not only quadrumanous, but quidruminant. 

I confess that the present letter of Mr. Sawin increases my 
doubts as to the sincerity of the convictions which he pro- 
fesses, and I am inclined to think that the triumph of the 
legitimate Government, sure sooner or later to take place, 
will find him and a large majority of his newly-adopted fellow- 
citizens (who hold with Daedalus, the primal sitter-on-the- 
fence, that medium tenere tutissimum) original Union men. 
The criticisms towards the close of his letter on certain of our 
failings are worthy to be seriously perpended; for he is not, as 
I think, without a spice of vulgar shrewdness. As to the good- 
nature in us which he seems to gird at, while I would not 
consecrate a chapel, as they have not scrupled to do in Prance, 
to Notre Dame de la Haine (Our Lady of Hate), yet I cannot 
forget that the corruption of good nature is the generation of 
laxity of principle. Good-nature is our national character- 
istick; and though it be, perhaps, nothing more than a culpable 
weakness or cowardice, when it leads us to put up tamely 
with manifold impositions and breaches of implied contracts, 



58 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 



(as too frequently in our publick conveyances,) it becomes a 
positive crime, when it leads us to look unresentfully on pecu- 
lation, and to regard treason to the best Government that 
ever existed as something with which a gentleman mav shake 
hands without soiling his fingers. I do not think the gallows- 
tree the most profitable member of onv Sylra ; but, since it 
continues to be planted, I would lain see a Northern limb 
ingrafted on it, that it may bear some other fruit than loyal 
Tennesseeans. 

A relick has reeently been discovered on the east bank of 
Buahj Brook in Xorth Jaalam, which I conceive to be an 
inscription in Runic characters relating to the early expedition 
of the Northmen to this continent. I shall make fuller in- 
vestigations, and communicate the result in due u. 

Respectfully, 

Your obedient servant, 

BOMKB WlLBTO, 4.M 

F.S — T inclose a year's subscription from Deacon Tinkham. 

I iied it on uiv miiT las' time, when 1 to write ye started, 
To tech tli«' leadin 1 feature o' my gitin' me convarted ; 
But, ez my letters hex to goclearn roun' by way rf Cuby, 

T wim': m no stal.-r now than then, by tli' time it 

gite where you ha. 
You know up North, though sees an' things air plenty 

• you pit 
They warn'1 nut one on 'em thet come jet' square with 

my Me. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 59 

I dessay they suit workin' -folks thet ain't noways 

pertic'lar, 
But nut your Southun gen'leman thet keeps his per- 

pendic'lar ; 
I don't blame nary man thet casts his lot along o' his 

folks, 
But ef you cal'late to save me, 't must be with folks 

thet is folks ; 
Cov'nants o ; works go 'ginst my grain, but down here 

I 've found out 
The true fus'-fem'ly A 1 plan, — here 's how it come 

about. 
When I fus' sot up with Miss S., sez she to me, sez she, — 
" Without you git religion, Sir, the thing can't never be; 
Nut but wut I respeck," sez she, " your intellectle part, 
But you wun't noways du for me athout a change o' 

heart : 
Nothun religion works wal North, but it 's ez soft ez 

spruce, 
Compared to ourn, for keepin' sound," sez she, " upon 

the goose ; 
A day's experunce 'd prove to ye, ez easy 'z pull a 

trigger, 
It takes the Southun pint o' view to raise ten bales a 

nigger ; 
You 11 fin' thet human natur, South, ain't wdiolesome 

more 'n skin-deep, 



60 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

An' once 't a darkie 's took with it, he wun't be wuth 

his keep." 
"How shell I git it, Ma'am?" sez I. "Attend the 

nex' camp-meetin'," 
Sez she, " an' it '11 come to ye ez cheap ez onbleached 

sheetin'." 

Wal, so I went along an' hearn most an impressive 

sarmon 
About besprinklm' Afriky with fourth-proof dew o' 

Harmon : 
He did n' put no weaknin' in, but gin it tu us hot, 
'Z ef he an' Satan 'd ben two bulls in one five-acre lot : 
I don't purtend to foller him, but give ye jes' the 

heads ; 
For pulpit ellerkence, you know, 'most oilers kin' o' 

spreads. 
Ham's seed wuz gin to us in chairge, an' should n't we 

be li'ble 
In Kingdom Come, ef we kep' back their priv'lege in 

the Bible ? 
The cusses an' the promerses make one gret chain, 

an' ef 
You snake one link out here, one there, how much on 't 

ud be lef 1 
All things wuz gin to man for 's use, his sarvice, an' 

delight ; 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKS. 61 

An' don't the Greek an' Hebrew words thet mean a 
Man mean White % 

L 

Ain't it belittlin' the Good Book in all its proudes' 

featurs 
To think 't wuz wrote for black an' brown an' 'lasses- 
colored creaturs, 
Thet could n' read it, ef they would, nor ain't by lor 

allowed to, 
Eut ough' to take wut we think suits their naturs, an' 

be proud to ? 
Warn't it more prof 'table to bring your raw materil thru 
Where you can work it inta grace an' inta cotton, tu, 
Than sendin' missionaries out where fevers might defeat 

'em, 
An' ef the butcher did n' call, their p'rishioners might 

eat 'em 1 
An' then, agin, wut airthly use ? Nor 't warn't our 

fault, in so fur 
Ez Yankee skippers would keep on a-totin' on 'em over. 
'T improved the whites by savin' 'em from ary need o' 

wurkin , j 
An' kep' the blacks from bein' lost thru idleness an' 

shirkin' ; 
We took to 'em ez nat'ral ez a barn-owl doos to mice, 
An' hed our hull time on our hands to keep us out o' vice ; 
It made us feel ez pop'lar ez a hen doos with one 

chicken, 



02 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

An' fill our place in Natur's scale by givin' 'em a 

lickin' : 
For why should Caesar git his dues more 'n Juno, 

Pomp, an' Cuffy 1 
It 's justify in Ham to spare a nigger when he 's stuffy. 
Where 'd their soles go tu, like to know, ef we should 

let 'em ketch 
Freeknowledgism an' Fourierism an' Speritoolism an' 

sech ? 
When Satan sets himself to work to raise his very bes' 

muss, 
He scatters roun' onscriptur'l views relatin to Oni's'mus. 

You 'd ough' to seen, though, how his facs an* argy- 

munce an' Aggers 
Drawed tears o' real conviction from a lot o' pen'tent 

niggers ! 
It warn't like Wilbur's meetin', where you 're shet up 

in a pew, 
Your dickeys sorrin' off your ears, an' bilin' to be thru ; 
Ther wuz a tent clost by thet hed a kag o' sunthin' 

in it, 
"Where you could go, ef you wuz dry, an' damp ye in a 

minute ; 
An' ef you did dror off a spell, ther' wuz n't no occasion 
To lose the thread, because, ye see, he bellered like all 

Baahan. 






TIIE BIGLOW PAPERS. G3 

It 's dry work follerin' argymunce, an' so, 'twix' this 

an* thet, 
I felt conviction weighm' clown somehow inside my hat ; 
It growed an' growed like Jonah's gourd, a kin' o' 

whirlin' ketched me, 
Ontil I finally clean giv out an' owned up thet he 'd 

fetched me ; 
An' when nine-tenths the perrish took to tumblhV 

roun' an' hollerin', 
I did n' tin' no gret in th' way o' turnin' tu an' follerin'. 
Soon ez Miss S. see thet, sez she, " Thet 's wut I call 

wuth seein' ! 
Thet y s actin' like a reas'nable an' intellectle bein' ! " 
An' so we fin'lly made it up, concluded to hitch hosses, 
An' here I be 'n my ellermunt among creation's bosses ; 
Arter I 'd drawed sech heaps o' blanks, Fortin at last 

hez sent a prize, 
An' chose me for a shinin' light o' missionary enterprise. 

This leads me to another pint on which I ; ve changed 

my plan 
0' thinkin' so 's ? t I might become a straight-out Soutlum 

man. 
Miss S. (her maiden name wuz Higgs, o' the fus ? fem'ly 

here) 
On her Ma's side 's all Juggernot, on Pa's all Cavileer, 
An' sence I Ye merried into her an' stept into her shoes, 



64 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

It ain't more 'n nateral thet I sliould modderfy my 

views : 
I 've ben a-readin' in Debow ontil I 've fairly gut 
So 'nlightened thet I 'd full ez lives ha' ben a Dook ez 

nut; 
An' when we Ve laid ye all out stiff, an' Jeff hez gut 

bis crown, 
An' comes to pick his nobles out, wun't this child be in 

town ! 
We '11 hev an Age o' Chivverlry surpassin' Mister 

Burke's, 
Where every fem'ly is f us' -best an' nary white man 

works : 
Our system 's sech, the thing '11 root ez easy ez a tater ; 
For while your lords in furrin parts ain't noways marked 

by natur', 
Nor sot apart from ornery folks in featurs nor in figgers, 
Ef ourn '11 keep their faces washed, you '11 know 'em 

from their niggers. 
Ain't sech things wuth secedin' for, an' gittin' red o' you 
Thet waller in your low idees, an' will till all is blue ? 
Fact is, we air a diff'rent race, an' I, for one, don't see, 
Sech havin' oilers ben the case, how w' ever did agree. 
It 's sunthin' thet you lab'rin' -folks up North hed ough' 

to think on, 
Thet Higgses can't bemean themselves to rulin' by a 

Lincoln, — 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKS. 65 

Thet men, (an' guv'nors, t%) thet hez seek formal names 

ez Pickens, 
Accustomed to no kin' o' work, 'tliout 't is to givin' 

lickins, 
Can't masnre votes with, folks thet git their livins from 

iheir farms, 
An' prob'ly think thet Law 's ez good ez hevin ; coats 

o' arms. 
Sence I 've ben here, I 've hired a chap to look about 

for me 
To git me a transplantable an' thrifty fem'ly-tree, 
An' he tells me the Sawins is ez much o' -Normal blood 
Ez Pickens an' the rest on 'em, an' older 'n Noah's 

flood. 
Your Normal schools wun't turn ye into Normals, for 

it 's clear, 
Ef eddykatin' done the thing, they 'd be some skurcer 

here. 
Pickenses, Boggses, Pettuses, Magoffins, Letchers, 

Polks — 
Where can you scare up names like them among your 

mudsill folks ? 
rher' 's nothin' to compare with 'em, you 'd fin', ef you 

should glance, 
Among the tip-top femerlies in Englan', nor in France : 
I 've hearn from 'sponsible men whose word wuz full ez 

good 's their note, 



GG THE BIGLOW PAPEPwS. 

Men thet can run their face for drinks, an' keep a 

Sunday coat, 
Thet they wuz all on 'em come down, and come down 

pooty fur, 
From folks thet, 'thout their crowns wuz on, outdoors 

would n' never stir, 
Xor thet ther' warn't a Southun man but wut wuz 

primy fashy 
0' the bes' blood in Europe, yis, an' Afriky an' Ashy : 
Scch bein' the case, is 't likely we should bend like 

cotton-wickin', 
Or set down under any thin' so low-lived ez a lickin' ] 
More 'n this, — hain't we the literatoor an' science, tu, 

by gorry 1 
Hain't we them intellectle twins, them giants, Simms 

an' Maury, 
Each with full twice the ushle brains, like no thin' thet 

I know, 
'Thout 't wuz a double-headed calf I see once to a show ] 

For all thet, I warn't jest at fust in favor o' secedin' ; 
I wuz for layin' low a spell to find out where 't wuz 

leadin', 
For hevin' South-Carliny try her hand at seprit- 

nationin', 
She takin' resks an' findin' funds, an' we coopera- 

tionin', — 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 67 

I mean a kin' o' hanghV roun' an' settin' on the fence, 
Till Prov' dunce pinted how to jump an' save the most 

L 

expense ; 
I reecollected thet 'ere mine o' lead to Shirza Centre 
Thet bust up Jabez Pettibone, an' did n't want to 

ventur' 
; Pore I wuz sartin wut come out ud pay for wut 

went in, 
For swappin' silver off for lead ain't the sure w T ay 

to win ; 
(An ? , fact, it doos look now ez though — but folks must 

live an' larn — 
We should git lead, an' more 'n we want, out o' the 

Old Consarn ;) 
But when I see a man so wise an' honest ez Buchanan 
A-lettin' us hev all the forts an' all the arms an' cannon, 
Admittin' we wuz nat'lly right an' you wuz nat'lly 

wrong, 
Coz you wuz lab'rin'-folks an' we wuz wut they call 

bong-tong, 
An' coz there warn't no fight in ye more 'n in a mashed 

potater, 
While two o' us can't skurcely meet but wut we hght 

by natur', 
An' th' ain't a bar-room here would pay for open in' 

on'ta night, 
Without it giv the priverlege o' bein' shot at sigh**, 



6S THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Which proves we 're Natur's noblemen, with whom it 

don't surprise 
The British aristoxy should feel boun to sympathize, — 
Seein' all this, an' seein', tu, the thing wuz strikin' 

roots 
While Uncle Sam sot still in hopes thet some one 'd 

bring his boots, 
I thought th' ole Unions hoops wuz off, an' let myself 

be sucked in 
To rise a peg an' jine the crowd thet went for recon- 
structing — 
Thet is, to hev the pardnership under th' ole name 

continner 
Jest ez it wuz, we drorrin' pay, you findin' bone an' 

sinner, — 
On'y to put it in the bond, an' enter 't in the journals, 
Thet you 're the nat'ral rank an' file, an' we the nat'ral 

kurnels. 

Now this I thought a fees'ble plan, thet 'ud work 

smooth ez grease, 
Suitin' the Nineteenth Century an' Upper Ten idees, 
An' there I meant to stick, an' so did most o' th' 

leaders, tu, 
Coz we all thought the chance wuz good o' puttin' on it 

thru; 
But Jeff he hit upon a way o' helpin' on us forrard 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 69 

By bem' unannermous, — a trick you ain't quite up to, 

Norrard. 
A baldin hain't no more 'f a chance with, them new 

apple- corers 
Than folks' s oppersition views aginst the Ringtail 

Koarers ; 
They '11 take 'em out on him 'bout east, — one canter on 

a rail 
Makes a man feel unannermous ez Jonah in the whale ; 
Or ef he 's a slow-moulded cuss thet can't seem quite 

t' agree, 
He gits the noose by tellergraph upon the nighes' tree : 
Their mission- work with Afrikins hez put 'em up, 

thet 's sartin, 
To all the mos' across-lot ways o' preachin' an' con- 

vartin' ; 
I '11 bet my hat th' ain't nary priest, nor all on 'em 

together, 
Thet cairs conviction to the min' like Eeveren' Taran- 

feather ; 
Why, he sot up with me one night, an' labored to sech 

purpose, 
Thet (ez an owl by daylight 'mongst a flock o' teazin' 

chirpers 
Sees clearer 'n mud the wickedness o' eatin' little birds) 
I see my error an' agreed to shen it arterwurds ; 
An' I should say, (to jedge our folks by facs in my 

possession,} 



70 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 



Thet three 's Unannermous where one 's a 'Itiginal 

Secession ; 
So it 's a thing you fellers ^STorth may safely bet your 

chink on, 
Thet we 're all water-proofed agin th' usurpin' reign o* 

Lincoln. 

Jeff 's some. He ? s gut another plan thet hez pcrtic'lar 

merits, 
In givin' things a cherfle look an stiffnin' loose-hung 

sperits ; 
For while your million papers, wut with lyin' an' 

discussing 
Keep folks's tempers all on eend a-fumin 1 an' a-fussin', 
A-wondrin' this an' guessin' thet, an' dread in', every 

night, 
The breechin' o' the Univarse '11 break afore it 'a light, 
Our papers don't purtend to print on'y wut Guv'ment 

choose, 
An' thet insures us all to git the very best o' noose : 
Jeff hez it of all sorts an' kines, an' sarves it out ea 

wanted, 
So 's 't every man gits wut he likes an' nobody ain't 

scanted ; 
Sometimes it 's vict'ries, (they 're 'bout all ther is that 's 

cheap down here,) 
Sometimes it 's France an' England on the jump to 

interfere. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 71 

Fact is, the less the people know o' wut ther' is a-doin', 
The hendier 't is for Guv'ment, sence it henders trouble 

brewin' ; 
An' noose is like a shinplaster, — it *s good, ef you 

believe it, 
Or, wut 's all same, the other man thet 's goin' to 

receive it : 
Ef you 've a son in th' army, wy, it 's comfortin' to hear 
He '11 hev no gretter resk to run than seein' tli' in'my's 

rear, 
Coz, ef an F. F. looks at 'em, they oilers break an' run, 
Or wilt right down ez debtors will thet stumble on a 

dun 
(An' this, ef an' thin , proves the wuth o' proper fem'ly 

pride, 
Fer sech mean shucks ez creditors are all on Lincoln's 

side) ; 
Ef I hev scrip thet wun't go off no more 'n a Eel gin rifle, 
An' read thet it's at par on ; Change, it makes me feel 

deli'fle ; 
It 's cheerin', tu, where every man mus' fortify his bed, 
To hear thet Freedom 's the one thing our darkies 

mos'ly dread, 
An' thet experunce, time'n' agin, to Dixie's Land hcz 

shown 
Ther' 's nothin' like a powder-cask f'r a stiddy corner- 

stone ; 



72 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Ain't it ez good ez nuts, when salt is sellin' by the 

ounce 
For its own weight in Treash'ry-bons, (ef bought in 

small amounts,) 
When even whiskey's gittin' skurce, an' sugar cant be 

found, 
To know thet all the ellerments o' luxury abound ? 
An' don't it glorify sal'-pork, to come to understand 
It 's wut the Eichmon' editors call fatness o' the land ? 
Xex' thing to knowin' you 're well off is nut to know 

when y' ain't ; 
An' ef Jeff says all 's goin' wal, who '11 ventur' t' say it 

ain't ] 

This cairn the Constitooshun roun' ez Jeff doos in 

his hat 
Is hendier a dreffle sight, an' comes more kin' o' pat. 
I tell ye wut, my jedgment is you 're pooty sure to fail, 
Ez long 'z the head keeps turnin' back for counsel to 

the tail : 
Th' advantiges of our consarn for bein' prompt air gret, 
While, 'long o' Congress, you can't strike, 'f you git an 

iron het ; 
They bother roun' with argooin', an' var'ous sorts o' 

foolin', 
To make sure ef it 's leg'lly het, an' all the while it 'a 

coolin', 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 73 

So's 't when you come to strike, it ain't no gret to wish 
ye j'y on, 

u 

An* hurts the hammer 'z much or more ez wut it doos 

the iron. 
Jeff don't allow no jawin'-sprees for three months at a 

stretch, 
Knowin' the ears long speeches suits air mostly made 

to metch; 
He jes' ropes in your tonguey chaps an' reg'lar ten-inch 

bores 
An' lets 'em play at Congress, ef they '11 du it with 

closed doors ; 
So they ain't no more bothersome than ef we'd took 

an sunk 'em, 
An' yit enj'y th' exclusive right to one another's Bun- 
combe 
'Thout doin' nobody no hurt, an' 'thout its costin' 

nothin', 
Their pay bein' jes' Confedrit funds, they findin' keep 

an' clothin'; 
They taste the sweets o' public life, an' plan their little 

jobs, 
An' suck the Treash'ry, (no gret harm, for it 's ez dry 

ez cobs,) 
An' go thru all the motions jest ez safe ez in a prison, 
An' hev their business to themselves, while Buregard 

hez hisn : 



7-i THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Es long 'z he gives the Hessians fits, committees can't 

make bother 
'Bout whether Vs done the legle way or whether '1 

done the t'other. 
An' / tell you you 've gut to larn thet War ain't one 

long teetei 
Betwixt / urati to an' : T mint du, debatin' like a 

skeetnr 
Afore he lights, — all is, give the other side ■ milling 
An 1 alter thet 'a done, th 1 ain't no resk hut wut the 

Loir '11 be willin' ; 
No metier wut the guVment is, ez nigh ez I can hit i 
A licking's oonstitooahniial, pervidin j We don't git it. 
.i-tr don't Btan J dilly-daliyin', afore he takes a fort, 

(With no one in,) to git the leave o' the nex' Soopreme 
I ourt, 

or don't want forty-leven weeks o' jawin! an 1 ex- 
poandin 1 

To prove a nigger he/ a right to save him, efhe's 

drowndin' ; 

Whereas ole Ahrani \\ sink afore lie 'd let a dark 
boost him, 

Elf Taney should n't come along an' hed n't interdoooed 
him. 

It ain't vour twenty millions thet '11 eyer block Jell 

gam 
J> it i Q6 Man thet wun't let 'em jog, he 'stakin'aim: 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 7 

Your numbers they may strengthen ye or weaken ye, 

ez't heppens 
They 're willin' to be helpin' hands or wuss'n-nothin' 

cap'ns. 

I 've chose my side, an' 't ain't no odds ef I wuz drawed 

with magnets, 
Or ef I thought it prudenter to jine the nighes' bagnets ; 
I 've made my ch'ice, an' ciphered out, from all I see 

an' heard, 
Th' ole Cons tit ooshun never 'd git her decks for action 

cleared, 
Long 'z you elect for Congressmen poor shotes thet 

want to go 
Coz they can't seem to git their grub no otherways 

than so, 
An' let your bes' men stay to home coz they wun't show 

ez talkers, 
Nor can't be hired to fool ye an' sof'-soap ye at 

a caucus, — 
Long 'z ye set by Rotashun more 'n ye do by folks' s 

merits, 
Ez though experunce thriv by change o' sile, like corn 

an' kerrits, — 
Long 'z you allow a critter's "claims" coz, spite o' 

shoves an' tippins, 
He 's kep' his private pan jest where ? t would ketcb 

mos' public drippins, — 



7G THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Long'z A. '11 turn tu an' grin' E.'s exe, ef B. '11 help 

liim grin' hisn, 
(An' thet 's the main idee by which, your leadin' men 

hev risen,) — 
Long 'z you let ary exe be groun', 'less 't is to cut the 

weasan' 
0' sneaks thet dunno till they 're told wut is an' wut 

ain't Treason, — 
Long 'z ye give out commissions to a lot o' peddlin' drones 
Thet trade in whiskey with their men an' skin 'em to 

their bones, — 
Long 'z ye sift out " safe " canderdates thet no one ain't 

afeared on 
Coz they 're so thund'rin' eminent for bein' never 

heard on, 
An' hain't no record, ez it 's called, for folks to pick a 

hole in, 
Ez ef it hurt a man to hev a body with a soul in, 
An' it wuz ostentashim to be showin' on 't about, 
When half his feller-citizens contrive to do without, — 
Long 'z you suppose your votes can turn biled kebbago 

into brain, 
An' ary man thet 's pop'lar 's fit to drive a lightnin'- 

train, — 
Long'z you believe democracy means Vm ez good ez 

yon be j 
An' thet a feller from the ranks can't be a knave or 

booby, — 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 77 

Long'z Congress seems purvided, like yer street-cars 

an' yer 'busses, 
With oilers room for jes' one more o' your spiled-in- 

bakin' cusses, 
Dough 'thout the emptins of a soul, an' yit with means 

about 'em 
(Like essence-peddlers"") thet'll make folks long to be 

without 'ein, 
Jest heavy 'nough to turn a scale thet 's doubtfle the 

wrong way, 
An' make their natural arsenal o' bein' nasty pay, — 
Long'z them things last, (an' I don't see no gret signs 

of improvin',) 
I sha'n't up stakes, not hardly yit, nor 't would n't pay 

for movin' ; 
For, 'fore you lick us, it '11 be the long'st day ever you 

see. 
Yourn, (ez I 'xpec' to be nex' spring,) 

B., Makkiss o' Big Boosy. 

■ A rustic euphemism for the American variety ot the Mephitis.— H. W. 



A MESSAGE OF JEFF DAVIS IN SECEET 

SESSION. 

CONJECTURALLY REPORTED BY H. BIGLOW. 

To ihe Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaalam, 10th March, 1SG2. 

Gentlemen, — My leisure has been so entirely occupied with 
the hitherto fruitless endeavour to decypher the llunick in- 
scription whose fortunate discovery I mentioned in my last 
communication, that I have not found time to discuss, as I had 
intended, the great problem of what we are to do with slavery, 
a topick on which the publick mind in this place is at present 
more than ever agitated. "What my \ishes and hopes are I 
need not say, but for safe conclusion' I do not conceive that 
we are yet in possession of facts er^ugh on which to bottom 
them with certainty. Acknowledging the hand of Providence, 
as I do, in all events, I am sometimes inclined to think that 
they are wiser than we, and am willing to wait till we have 
made this continent once more a place where freemen can live 
in security and honour, before assuming any further responsi- 
bility. This is the view taken by my neighbour Habakkuk 
Sloansurc, Esq., the president of our bank, whose opinion in 
the practical affairs of life has great weight with me, as I have 
generally found it to be justified by the event, and whose 
counsel, had I followed it, would have saved me from an un- 
fortunate investment of a considerable part of the painful 
economies of half a centurv in theNorthwcst-Pasfasrc Tunnrl. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 79 

After a somewhat animated discussion with this gentleman, 
a few days since, I expanded, on the audi alteram partem 
principle, something which he happened to say by way of 
Illustration, into the following fable. 

L- 

FESTINA LENTE. 

Once on a time there was a pool 

F ringed all about with flag-leaves cool 

And spotted with cow-lilies garish, 

Of frogs and pouts the ancient parish. 

Alders the creaking redwings sink on, 

Tussocks that house blithe Bob o' Lincoln 

Hedged round the unassailed seclusion, 

Where rnuskrats piled their cells Carthusian ; 

And many a moss-embroidered log, ' 

The watering-place of summer frog, 

Slept and decayed with patient skill, 

As watering-places sometimes will. 

Now in this Abbey of Theleme, 

"Which realized the fairest dream, 

That ever dozing bull-frog had, 

Sunned on a half-sunk lily-pad, 

There rose a party with a mission 

To mend the polliwogs' condition, 

Who notified the selectmen 

To call a meeting there and then. 

" Some kind of steps," they said, "are needed; 

They don't come on so fast as we did : 

Let 's dock their tails ; if that don't make 'em 

Progs by brevet, the Old One take 'em! 

That boy, that came the other day 

To dig some nag-root down this way, 

His jack-knife left, and 't is a sign 

That Heaven approves of our design : 

5 T were wicked not to urge the step on, 

"When Providence has sent the weapon." 

Old croakers, deacons of the mire, 
That led the deep batrachian choir, 

F 



80 THE B1GLOW PAPERS. 



Uk ! JJk ! Caroiik ! with bass that might 
Have leit Lablache's out of sight, 
Shook nobby heads, and said, " No go ! 
You 'd better let 'em try to grow : 
Old Doctor Time is slow, but still 
He does know how to make a pill." 

But vain was all their hoarsest bass, 
Their old experience out of place, 
And spite of croaking and entreating, 
The vote was carried in marsh-meeting. 

" Lord knows," protest the polliwogs, 
" We 're anxious to be grown-up frogs ; 
But do not undertake the work 
Of Nature till she prove a shirk ; 
'T is not by jumps that she advances, 
But wins her way by circumstances : 
Pray, wait awhile, until you know 
We 're so contrived as not to grow ; 
Let Mature take her own direction, 
And she '11 absorb our imperfection ; 
You might n't like 'em to appear with, 
But we must have the things to steer with, 

" No," piped the party of reform, 
" All great results are ta'en by storm ; 
Fate holds her best gifts till we show 
We 've strength to make her let them go : 
No more reject the Age's chrism, 
Your cues are an anachronism ; t 

No more the Future's promise mock, 
But lay your tails upon the block, 
Thankful that we the means have voted 
To have you thus to frogs promoted." 

The thing was done, the tails were cropped, 

And home each philotadpole hopped, 

In faith rewarded to exult, 

And wait the beautiful result. 

Too soon it came ; our pool, so long 

The theme of patriot bull-frogs' song, 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 81 

Kext day was reeking, fit to smother, 
With heads and tails that missed each other, — 
Here snoutless tails, there tailless snouts : 
The only gainers were the pouts. 

MORAL. 

From lower to the higher next, 
Not to the top, is Nature's text; 
And embryo Good, to reach full stature, 
Absorbs the Evil in its nature. 

I think that nothing will ever give permanent peace and 
security to this continent but the extirpation of Slavery there- 
from, and that the occasion is nigh ; but I would do nothing 
hastily or vindictively, nor presume to jog the elbow of Provi- 
dence. No desperate measures for me till we are sure that all 
others are hopeless, — flectere si nequeo supeeos, Acheronta 
movebo. To make Emancipation a reform instead of a revolution 
is worth a little patience, that we may have the Border States 
first, and then the non-slaveholders of the Cotton States with 
us in principle, — a consummation that seems to be nearer than 
jnany imagine. Fiat justitia, mat coelum y is not to be taken 
in a literal sense by statesmen, whose problem is to get justice 
done with as little jar as possible to existing order, which 
lias at least so much of heaven in it that it is not chaos. I 
rejoice in the President's late Message, which at last proclaims 
the Government on the side of freedom, justice, and sound 
policy. 

As I write, comes the news of our disaster at Hampton 
Hoads. I do not understand the supineness which, after fair 
warning, leaves wood to an unequal conflict with iron. It is 
not enough merely to have the right on our side, if we stick 
to the old flint-lock of tradition. I have observed in my 
parochial experience (Jiaud ignarus mali) that the Devil is 
prompt to adopt the latest inventions of destructive warfare, 



82 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

and may thus take even such a three-decker as Bishop Butler 
at an advantage. It is curious, that, as gunpowder made 
armour useless on shore, so armour is having its revenge by 
baffling its old enemy at sea, — and that, while gunpowder 
robbed land-warfare of nearly all its picturesqueness to give 
even greater stateliness and sublimity to a sea-fight, armour 
bids fair to degrade the latter into a squabble between two 
iron-shelled turtles. 

Yours, with esteem and respect, 

Homer Wilbur, A.M. 

P.S. — I had weli-nigh forgotten to say that the object of 
this letter is to enclose a communication from the gifted pen 
of Mr. Biglow. 

I sent you a rnessige, my friens, t' other day, 

To tell you I 'd nothin' pertickler to say : 

'T wuz the day our new nation gut kin o' stillborn, 

So 't wuz my pleasant dooty t' acknowledge the corn. 

An' I see clearly then, ef I did n't before, 

Thet the augur in inauguration means bore. 

I need n't tell you thet my rnessige wuz written 

To diffuse corree' notions in France an' Gret Britten, 

An' agin to impress on the poppylar mind 

The comfort an' wisdom o' goin' it blind, — 

To say thet I did n't abate not a hooter 

0' my faith in a happy an' glorious futur/ 

Ez rich in each soshle an' p'litickle blessiii' 

Ez them thet w^e now hed the joy o' possessing 

With a people united, an' longin' to die 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 83 

For wut we call their country, without askin' why, 

An' all the gret things we concluded to slope for 

Ez much within reach now ez ever — to hope for. 

We J ve all o' the ellernients, this very hour, 

Thet make up a fus' -class, self-governin' power : 

"We 've a war, an' a debt, an' a flag ; an' ef this 

Ain't to be inderpendunt, why, wut on airth is % 

An' nothin' now henders our takin' our station 

Ez the freest, enlightenedest, civerlized nation, 

Euilt up on our bran' -new politickle thesis 

Thet a Gov'inent's fust right is to tumble to pieces, — 

I say nothin' henders our takin' our place 

Ez the very fus' -best o' the whole human race, 

A-spittin' tobacker ez proud ez you please 

On Victory's bes' carpets, or loafin' at ease 

In the Tool'ries front-parlor, discussin' affairs 

With our heels on the backs o' Napoleon's new chairs, 

An' princes a-mixin' our cocktails an' slings, — 

Excep', wal, excep' jest a very few things, 

Sech ez navies an' armies an' wherewith to pay, 

An' gittin' our sogers to run t'other way, 

An' not be too over-perti elder in tryin' 

To hunt up the very las' ditches to die in. 

Ther' are critters so base thet they want it explained 
Jes' wut is the totle amount thet we 've gained, 
Ez ef we could maysure stupendous events 



84 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

By the low Yankee standard o' dollars an* cents : 
They seem to forgit, tliet, sence last year revolved, 
We 've succeeded in gittin' seceshed an' dissolved, 
An' thet no one can't hope to git thru dissolootion 
'Thout some kin' o' strain on the best Constitootion. 
"Who asks for a prospec' more flettrm an' bright, 
When from here clean to Texas it 's all one free fight ? 
Hain't we rescued from Seward the gret leadin' featurs 
Thet makes it wuth while to be reasonn' creatursl 
Hain't we saved Habus Coppers, improve 1 it in fact, 
By suspendin' the Unionists 'stid o' the Act ? 
Ain't the laws free to all 1 Where on airth else d' ye 

see 
Every freeman improvin' his own rope an' tree 1 

It 's ne'ssary to take a good confident tone 

With -the public ; but here, jest amongst us, I own 

Things looks blacker 'n thunder. Ther 's no use 

denyin* 
We 're clean out o' money, an' 'most out o' lyin', — 
Two things a young nation can't mennage without, 
Ef slie wants to look wal at her fust comin' out ; 
For the fust supplies physickle strength, while the 

second 
Gives a morril edvantage thet 's hard to be reckoned : 
For this latter I 'm willin' to du wut I can ; 
For the former you Tl hev to consult on a plan, — 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 85 

Though our fust want (an' this pint I want your Lest 

views on) 
Ts plausible paper to print I. 0. U.s on. 
Some gennlemen think it would cure all our cankers 
In the way o' finance, ef we jes' hanged the hankers ; 
An' I own the proposle 'ud square with my views, 
Ef their lives wuz n't all thet we 'd left 'em to lose. 
Some say thet more confidence might be inspired, 
Ef we voted our cities an' towns to be fired, — 
A plan thet 'ud suttenly tax our endurance, 
Coz 't would be our own bills we should git for th 

insurance ; 
But cinders, no metter how sacred we think 'em, 
Might n't strike furrin minds ez good sources of income, 
]STor the people, perhaps, would n't like the eclaw 
0' bein' all turned into paytriots by law. 
Some want we should buy all the ^cotton an' burn it, 
On a pledge, when we 've gut thru the war, to return. 

it,- 

Then to take the proceeds an' hold them ez security 

Eor an issue o' bonds to be met at maturity 

With an issue o' notes to be paid in hard cash 

On the fus' Monday follerin' the 'tarnal Allsmash : 

This hez a safe air, an', once hold o' the gold, 

'Ud leave our vile plunderers out in the cold, 

An' might temp' John Bull, ef it warn't for the dip he 

Once ^ut from the banks o' my own Massissippi. 



86 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Some think we could make, by arrangin' the riggers, 

A hendy home-currency out of our niggers ; 

But it wun't du to lean much on ary sech staff, 

For they 're gittin' tu current a' ready, by half. 

One gennleman says, ef we lef our loan out 

Where Flo} r d could git hold on ; t, he 'd take it, no 

doubt ; 
But ? t ain't jes' the taking though 't hez a good look, 
"We mus' git sunthin' out on it arter it ; s took, 
An' we need now more 'n ever, with sorrer I own, 
Thet some one another should let us a loan, 
Sence a soger wun't fight, on'y jes' while he draws his 
Pay down on the nail, for the best of all causes, 
; Thout askin' to know wut the quarrel 's about, — 
An' once come to thet, why, our game is played out. 
It 's ez true ez though I should n't never hev said it 
Thet a hitch hez took place in our system o' credit ; 
I swear it 's all right in my speeches an' messiges, 
But trier' 's idees afloat, ez ther' is about sessiges : 
Folks wun't take a bond ez a basis to trade on, 
Without nosin' round to find out w r ut it 's made on, 
An' the thought more an' more thru the public min J 

crosses 
Thet our Treshry hez gut 'mos' too many dead bosses. 
Wut 's called credit, you see, is some like a balloon, 
Thet looks while it 's up 'most ez harnsome 'z a moon, 
But once git a leak in 't an' wut looked so grand 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 87 

Caves rigli' down in a jiffy G z flat ez your hand. 
Now the world is a dreffle mean place, for our sins, 
Where ther' ollus is critters about with long pins 
A-prickin' the globes wq 've blowed up with sech care, 
An' provin' ther' 's nothm inside but bad air : 
They 're all Stuart Millses, poor-white trash, an' sneaks, 
Without no more chivverlry 'n Choctaws or Creeks, 
Who think a real gennleman's promise to pay 
Is meant to be took in trade's ornery way : 
Them fellers an' I could n' never agree ; 
They 're the nateral foes o' the Southun Idee ; 
I 'd gladly take all of our other resks on me 
To be red o' this low-lived politikle 'con'my ! 

Now a dastardly notion is gittin' about 

Thet our bladder is bust an' the gas oozin' out, 

An' onless we can mennage in some way to stop it, 

Why, the thing 's a gone coon, an' we might ez wa] 

drop it. 
Brag works wal at fast, but it ain't jes' the thing 
For a stiddy inves'ment the shiners to bring, 
An' votin' we 're prosp'rous a hundred times over 
Wun't change bein' starved into livin' on clover. 
Manassas done sunthin' tow'rcls drawin' the wool 
O'er the green, anti-slavery eyes o' John Bull : 
Oh, warnH it a godsend, jes' when sech tight fixes 
Wuz crowdin' us mourners, to throw double-sixes ! 



88 THE BIGLOW PAFE 

I wuz tempted to think, an' it wuz n't no wonder, 
Tlier' wnz reelly a Providence, — over or under, — 
When, all packed for Nashville, I fast ascertained 
From the papers up North wut a victory we 'd gained. 
; T wuz the time for diffusin' correc' views abroad 
Of our union an' strength an' relvin' on God ; 
An ; , fact, when I 'd gut thru my fust big surprise, 
I much ez half b'lieved in my own tallest lies, 
An' conveyed the idee thet the whole Southun popper- 
lace 
Wuz Spartans all on the keen jump for Thermopperlies, 
Thet set on the Lincolnites' bombs till they bust, 
An' fight for the priv'lege o' dyin' the fust ; 
Eut Eoanoke, Bufort, Millspring, an' the rest 
Of our recent starn-foremost successes out West, 
Hain't left us a foot for our swellin' to stand on, — 
AVe J ve showed too much o' wut Buregard calls 

abandon, 
For all our Thermopperlies (an 1 it 's a marcy 
"We hain't lied no more) hev ben clean vicy-varsy, 
An' wut Spartans wuz lef when the battle wuz done 
"YYuz them thet wuz too unambitious to run. 

Oh, ef we hed on'y jes' gut Eeecognition. 
Things now would ha' ben in a different position ! 
You 'd ha' hed all you wanted : the paper blockade 
Smashed up into toothpicks, — unlimited trade 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 89 

In the one tiling thet 's needfle, till niggers, I swow, 
Hed ben thicker 'n provisional shinplasters now, — 
Quinine "by the ton 'ginst the shakes when they 

seize ye, — 
Mce paper to coin into C. S. A. specie ; 
The voice of the driver 'd be heerd in our land, 
An' the univarse scringe, ef vre lifted our hand : 
Would n't thet be some like a fulfillin' the prophecies, 
With all the fus' fern' lies in all the best offices % 
? T wuz a beautiful drnam, an' all sorrer is idle, — 
Eut ef Lincoln would ha' hanged Mason an' Slidell ! 
They ain't 'o no good in European pellices, 
Eut think wut a help they J d ha' ben on their 

gallowses ! 
They 'd ha' felt they wuz truly fulfillin' their mission, 
An', oh, how dog-cheap we 'd ha' gut Eeecognition ! 

Eut somehow another, wutever we 've tried, 
Though the the'ry 'a fust-rate, the facs wurit coincide : 
Eacs are contrary 'z mules, an' ez hard in the mouth, 
An' they alius hev showed a mean spite to the South. 
Sech bein' the case, we hed best look about 
Eor some kin' o' way to slip our necks out : 
Le' 's vote our las' dollar, ef one can be found, 
(An', at any rate, votin' it hez a good sound,)— 
Le' 's swear thet to arms all our people is flyin, 
(The critters can't read, an' wun't know how we're 
lyhY,)- 



90 THE BIGLOW TAPERS. 

Thet Toombs is advancin' to sack Cinciimater, 
AVitli a rovin' commission to pillage an' slarter. — 
Thet Ave 'ye thro wed to the winds all regard for wut 's 

lawfle, 
An' gone in for smith in' promiscii'sly awfle. 
Ye see, hitherto, it 's our own knaves an' fools 
Thet Ave 've used, — those for whetstones, an' t' others 

ez tools, — 
An' now our las' chance is in puttin' to test 
The same kin' o' cattle up North an' out West. 

I But, Gennlemen, here 's a despatch jes' come in 

Which shows thet the tide 's begun turnin' agin, — 
Gret Cornfedrit success ! C'lumbus eevacooated ! 
I mus' run down an' hev the thing properly stated, 
An' show wut a triumph it is, an' how lucky 
To fin'lly git red o' thet cussed Kentucky, — 
An' how, Bence Fort Donelson, winnin' tlie day 
Consists in triumphantly gittin away. 



SPEECH OF HONOURABLE PRESERVED DOE 
IN SECRET CAUCUS. 

To the Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaalam, 12th April, 1862. 

Gentlemen,— As I cannot but hope that the ultimate, if 
not speedy, success of the national arms is now sufficiently 
ascertained, sure as I am of the righteousness of our cause 
and its consequent claim on the blessing of God, (for I would 
not show a faith inferiour to that of the pagan historian with 
his Facile evenit quod Bis cordi est,) it seems to me a suitable 
occasion to withdraw our minds a moment from the confusing 
din of battle to objects of peaceful and permanent interest. 
Let us not neglect the monuments of preterite history because 
what shall be history is so diligently making under our eyes. 
Cras ingens iterabimus aquor ; to-morrow will be time enough 
for that stormy sea; to-day let me engage the attention of 
your readers with the Runick inscription to whose fortunate 
discovery I have heretofore alluded. Well may we say with 
the poet, Malta rejiascuntur quae jam cecidere. And I would 
premise, that, although I can no longer resist the evidence of 
my own senses from the stone before me to the ante-Columbian 
discovery of this continent by the Northmen, gens inclytisslma, 
as they are called in a Palermitan inscription, written for- 
tunately in a less debatable character than that which I am 
about to deeypher, yet I would by no means be understood as 
wishing to vilipend the merits of the great Genoese, whose 
name will never be forgotten so long as the inspiring strains 



92 THE CIGLOW PAPERS. 

of <f Hail Columbia" shall continue to be heard. Though he 
must be stripped also of whatever praise may belong to the 
experiment of the egg, which I find proverbially attributed by 
Castilian authours to a certain Juanito or Jack, (perhaps an 
offshoot of our giant-killing mythus,) his name will still remain 
one of the most illustrious of modern times. But the impar- 
tial historian owes a duty likewise to obscure merit, and my 
solicitude to render a tardy justice is perhaps quickened by 
my having known those who, had their own field of labour 
been less secluded, might have found a readier acceptance 
with the reading publick. I could give an example, but I 
forbear : forsitan nostris ex ossibus oritur idtor. 

Touching Runick inscriptions, I find that they may be 
classed under three general heads : 1°. Those which arc 
understood by the Danish Royal Society of Northern Anti- 
quaries, and Professor llafn, their Secretary ; 2°. Those which 
are comprehensible only by Mr. Rafn ; and 3°. Those which 
neither the Society, Mr. Rafn, nor anybody else can be said in 
any definite sense to understand, and which accordingly oiler 
peculiar temptations to enucleating sagacity. These last arc 
naturally deemed the most valuable by intelligent, antiqu&rii 
and to this class the stone now in my possession fortunately 
belongs. Such give a picturesque variety to ancient events, 
because susceptible oftentimes of as many interpretations as 
there are individual archaeologists; and since facts are only 
the pulp in which the Idea or event-seed is softly imbedded 
till it ripen, it is of little consequence what colour or flavour 
we attribute to them, provided it be agreeable. Availing my- 
self of the obliging assistance of Mr. Arphaxad Bowers, an 
ingenious photographick artist, whose house-on-wheela has now 
stood for three years on our Mee ting-House Green, with the 
somewhat contradictory inscription, — "our motto is onward? 
— I have Bent accurate copies of my treasure to many 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. <j;j 

learned men and societies, both native and European. I 
may hereafter communicate their different and (me ju dice) 
equally erroneous solutions. I solicit also, Messrs. Editors, 
your own acceptance of the copy herewith inclosed. I 
need only premise further, that the stone itself is a goodly 
block of metamorphick sandstone, and that the Runes re- 
semble very nearly the ornithichnites or fossil bird-tracks of 
Dr. Hitchcock, but with less regularity or apparent design 
than is displayed by those remarkable geological monuments. 
These are rather the non bene junctarum discordia semi?ia rerum. 
Resolved to leave no door open to cavil, I first of all attempted 
the elucidation of this remarkable example of lithick literature 
by the ordinary modes, but with no adequate return for my 
labour. I then considered myself amply justified in resorting 
to that heroick treatment the felicity of which, as applied by 
the great Eentley to Milton, had long ago enlisted my admira- 
tion. Indeed, I had already made up my mind, that, in case 
good-fortune should throw any such invaluable record in my 
way, I would proceed with it in the following simple and satis- 
factory method. After a cursory examination, merely sufficing 
for an approximative estimate of its length, I would write 
down a hypothetical inscription based upon antecedent proba- 
bilities, and then proceed to extract from the characters en- 
graven on the stone a meaning as nearly as possible conformed 
to this a priori product of my own ingenuity. The result 
more than justified my hopes, inasmuch as the two inscriptions 
were made without any great violence to tally in all essential 
particulars. I then proceeded, not without some anxiety, to 
my second test, which was, to read the Runick letters diago- 
nally, and again with the same success. With an excitement 
pardonable under the circumstances, yet tempered with thank- 
ful humility, I now applied my last and severest trial, my ex- 
perimentum cruris. I turned the stone, now doubly precious 



9-4 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

in my eyes, with scrupulous exactness upside down. The 
physical exertion so far displaced my spectacles as to derange 
for a moment the focus of vision. I confess that it was with 
some tremulousness that 1 readjusted them upon my nose, and 
prepared my mind to bear with calmness any disappointment 
that might ensue. But, alio dies notanda lapillo! what 
"was my delight to find that the change of position had effected 
none in the sense of the writing, even by so much as a single 
letter! I was now, and justly, as I think, satisfied of the 
conscientious exactness of my interpretation. It is as 
follows : — 

HERE 

BJABNA GRDIO LESSON 

HitST PRANK CLOUD-BROTHER 

THROUGH CHILD-OE-LAND-AND-WATER : 

that is, drew smoke through a reed stem. In other words, we 
have here a record of the first smoking of the herb Nicotiana 
Tabaeum by a European on this continent. The probable re- 
sults of this discovery are so vast as to baffle conjecture. If 
it be objected, that the smoking of a pipe would hardly justify 
the setting up of a memorial stone, I answer, that even now 
the Moquis Indian, ere he takes his first whiff, bows reverently 
toward the four quarters of the sky in succession, and that the 
loftiest monuments have been reared to perpetuate fame, 
which is the dream of the shadow of smoke. The Saga, it 
will be remembered, leaves this Bjarna to a fate something 
like that of Sir Humphrey Gilbert, on board a sinking ship in 
the a wormy sea," having generously given up his place in the 
boat to a certain Icelander. It is doubly pleasant, therefore, 
to meet with this proof that the brave old man arrived safely 
in Vinland; and that his declining years were cheered by the 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. [)$ 

respectful attentions of the dusky denizens of our then uu in- 
vaded forests. Most of all was I gratified, however, in thus 
linking for ever the name of. my native town with one of the 
most momentous occurrences of modern times. Hitherto 
Jaalam, though in soil, climate, and geographical position as 
highly qualified to be the theatre of remarkable historical in- 
cidents as any spot on the earth's surface, lias been, if I may 
say it without seeming to question the wisdom of Providence, 
almost maliciously neglected, as it might appear, by occurrences 
of world-wide interest in want of a situation. And in matters 
of this nature it must be confessed that adequate events are 
as necessary as the vates sacer to record them. Jaalam stood 
always modestly ready, but circumstances made no fitting re- 
sponse to her generous intentions. Now, however, she assumes 
her place on the historick roll. I have hitherto been a zealous 
opponent of the Circean herb, but I shall now re-examine the 
question without bias. 

I am aware that the Bev. Jonas Tutchel, in a recent com- 
munication to the Bogus Four Corners Weekly Meridian, has 
endeavoured to show that this is the sepulchral inscription of 
Thorwald Eriksson, who, as is well known, was slain in Vinland 
by the natives. But I think he has been misled by a precon- 
ceived theory, and cannot but feel that he has thus made an 
Ungracious return for my allowing him to inspect the stcne 
with the aid of my own glasses (he having by accident left his 
at home) and in my own study. The heathen ancients might 
have instructed this Christian minister in the rites of hospi- 
tality ; but much is to be pardoned to the spirit of self-love. 
He must indeed be ingenious who can make out the words 
her Jwilir from any characters in. the inscription in question, 
which, whatever else it may be, is certainly not mortuary. 
And even should the reverend gentleman succeed in persuading 
some fantastical wits of the soundness of his views, I do not 

G 



96 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

see what useful eud he will have gained. For if the English 
Courts of Law hold the testimony of grave-stones from the 
burial-grounds of Protestant dissenters to be questionable, 
even where it is essential in proving a descent, I cannot con- 
ceive that the epitaphial assertions of heathens should be 
esteemed of more authority by any man of orthodox senti- 
ments. 

At this moment, happening to cast my eyes upon the stone, 
on which a transverse light from my southern window brings 
out the characters with singular distinctness, another inter- 
pretation has occurred to me, promising eveu more interesting 
results. I hasten to close my letter in order to follow at once 
the clue thus providentially suggested. 

I inclose, as usual, a contribution from Mr. Biglow, and 
remain, 

Gentlemen, with esteem and respect, 

Your Obedient Humble Servant, 

Homer Wilbur, A.M. 

I thank ye, iny Mens, for the warmth o' your greetin' : 

Ther' 's few airthly blessins but wut 's vain an' fleetin' ; 

But ef ther' is one thet hain't no cracks an' Haws, 

An* is wnth goin' in for, it 's pop'lar applause ; 

It sends up the sperits ez lively ez rockets, 

An' I feel it — wal, down to the eend o' my pockets. 

Jes' lovin' the people is Canaan in view, 

But it 's Canaan paid quarterly t' hev 'em love you ; 

It 's a blessin' thet 's breakin' out ollus in fresh spots ; 

It ; s a-follerin' Moses 'thout losin' the flesh-pots. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 97 

But, Gennlemen, 'scuse me, I ain't secli a raw cus 
Ez to go luggin' ellerkence into a caucus, — 
Thet is, into one where the call comprehens 
Nut the People in person, but on'y their friens ; 
I 'm so kin' o' used to convincin' the masses 
Of th' edvantage o' bein' self-governin' asses, 
I forgut thet we 're all o' the sort thet pull wires 
An' arrange for the public their wants an' desires, 
An' thet wut we hed met for wuz jes' to agree 
Wut the People's opinions in futur' should be. 

But to come to the nub, we ; ve ben all disappinted, 
An' our leadin' idees are a kind o' disjinted, — 
Though, fur ez the nateral man could discern, 
Things ough' to ha' took most an oppersite turn. 
But The'ry is jes' like a train on the rail, 
Thet, weather or no, puts her thru without fail, 
While Fac 's the ole stage thet gits sloughed in the ruts. 
An' hez to allow for your darned efs an' buts, 
An' so, nut intendin' no pers'nal reflections, 
They don't — don't nut alius, thet is, — make connec- 
tions : 
Sometimes, when it really doos seem thet they 'd 

oughter 
Combine jest ez kindly ez new rum an' water, 
Both Ml be jest ez sot in their ways ez a bagnet, 
Ez otherwise-minded ez th' eends of a magnet, 



98 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

An* folks like you 'n nie, thet ain't ept to be sold, 
Git somehow or 'nother left out in the cold. 

I expected 'fore this, 'thout no gret of a row, 

Jeff D. would ha* ben where A. Lincoln is now, 

"With Taney to say 't wuz all legle an' fair, 

An' a jury o' Deemocrats ready to swear 

Thet the ingin o' State gut throw ed into the ditch 

By the fault o' the North in misplacin' the switch. 

Things wuz ripenin' fust-rate with Buchanan to nuss 

'em ; 
But the People they would n't be Mexicans, cuss 'em ! 
Ain't the safeguards o' freedom upsot, 'z you may say, 
Ef the right o' rev'lution is took clean away ? 
An' doos n't the right primy-fashy include 
The bein' entitled to nut be subdued ? 
The fact is, wc 'd gone for the Union so strong, 
"When Union meant South ollus right an' North 

wrong, 
Thet the people gut fooled into thinkin' it might 
"Worry on middlin' wal with the North in the right. 
We might ha' ben now jest ez prosp'rous ez France, 
Where politikle enterprise hez a fair chance, 
An' the people is heppy an' proud et this hour, 
Long ez they hev the votes, to let Nap hev the power ; 
But our folks they went an' believed wut we'd told 

'em. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 39 

An', the flag once insulted, no mortle could hold oin. 
'T wuz pervokiri' jest when we wuz cert'in to win, — 
An' I, for one, wunt trust the masses agin : 
For a people thet knows much ain't fit to be free 
In the self-cockin', back-action style o' J. D. 

I can't believe now but wut half on 't is lies ; 

For who 'd thought the North wuz a-goin' to rise, 

Or take the pervokin'est kin' of a stump, 

'Thout 't wuz sunthin' ez pressin' ez Gabr'el's las' 

trump ? 
Or who 'd ha' supposed, arter sech swell an' bluster 
'Bout the liek-ary4en-on-ye fighters they 'd muster, 
Eaised by hand on briled lightnin', ez op'lent'z you 

please 
In a primitive furrest o' femmily-trees, 
Who ; d ha' thought thet them Southerners ever 'uc'l 

show 
S tarns with pedigrees to 'em like theirn to the foe, 
Or, when the vamosin' come, ever to find 
Nat'ral masters in front an' mean white folks behind 1 
By ginger, ef I 'd ha' known half I know now, 
"When I wuz to Congress, I would n't, I swow 
Hev let 'em cair on so high-minded an' sarsy, 
'Thout some show o' wut you may call vicy-varsy. 
To be sure, we wuz under a contrac' jes' then 
To be dreffle forbearin' towards Southun men ; 



100 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

T\ r e lied to go slieers in preservin' the bellance : 

An' ez they seemed to feel they wuz wastin' their 

tellents 
'Thout some un to kick, 't warn't more 'n proper, you 

know, 
Each should funnish his part ; an' sence they found 

the toe, 
An' we wuz n't cherubs — wal, we found the buffer, 
For fear thet the Compromise System should suffer. 

I wun't say the plan hed n't onpleasant featurs, — 
For men are perverse an' onreasonin' creatui 
An' forgit thet in this life 't ain't likely to happen 
Their own privit fancy should ollus be cappen, — 
But it worked jest ez smooth ez the key of a sale, 
An' the gret Union bearins played free from all chafe. 
They warn't hard to suit, ef they hed their own way ; 
An' we (thet is, some on us) made the thing pay : 
'T wuz a fair give-an'-take out of Uncle Sam's heap ; 
Ef they took wut warn't theirn, wut we give come ez 

cheap \ 
The elect gut the offices down to tidewaiter, 
The people took skinnin 7 ez mild ez a tater, 
Seemed to choose who they wanted tu, footed the bills, 
An' felt kind o' 'z though they wuz bavin' their wills, 
Which kep' 'em ez harmless an' cherfle ez cricket 
While all we invested wuz names on the tickets ; 



THE BIG LOW PAPERS. 101 

Wal, ther' ; s nothin' for folks fond o' lib'ral consump- 
tion, 

Free o' charge, like democ'acy tempered with gumption ! 

JSTow warn't thet a system wuth pains in presarvin', 
Where the people found jints an' their friens done the 

carving — 
Where the many done all o' their thinkin' by proxy, 
An' were proud on 't ez long ez J t wuz christened 

Benioc'cy, — 
Where the few let us sap ail o' Freedom's foundations, 
Ef you called it reformin' with prudence an' patience, 
An* were willin' Jeff's snake-egg should hetch with 

the rest, 
Ef you writ " Constitootional " over the nest '? 
But it 's all out o' kilter, ('t wuz too good to last,) 
An' all jes' by J. D.'s perceedin' too fast ; 
Ef he 'd on'y hung on for a month or two more, 
We 'd ha' gut things fixed nicer 'n they hed ben before : 
Afore he drawed off an ; lef ' all in confusion, 
We wuz safely intrenched in the ole Constitootion, 
With an outlyin', heavy-gun, casemated fort 
To rake all assailants, — I mean th' S. J. Court. 
ISTow I never '11 acknowledge (nut ef you should skin me) 
'T wuz wise to abandon sech works to the in'my, 
An' let him fin' out thet wut scared him so long, 
Our whole line of argyments, lookin' so strong, 



102 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

All our Script"llr , an' law, every the'ry an' fae', 
Wuz Quaker-guns daubed with Pro-slavery black. 
Why, ef the Eepublicans ever should git 
Andy Johnson or some one to lend 'em the wit 
An' the spunk jes' to mount Constitootion an' Court 
With Columbiad guns, your real ekle-rights sort, 
Or drill out the spike from the ole Declaration 
Thet can kerrv a solid shot clearn roun' creation, 
We 'd better take maysures for shettin up shop, 
An' put off our stock by a vendoo or swop. 

But they wun't never dare tu ; you 11 see 'em in Edom 
'Fore they ventur' to go where their doctrines 'ud 

lead 'em: 
They've ben takin' our princerplefl up ez we dropt'em, 
An thought it wuz terrible 'cute to adopt 'em ; 
Bat they'll fin' out 'fore long thet their hope's ben 

deceivin' 'em, 
An' thet princerples ain't o' no good, ef you 1/lieve 

in 'em ; 
It makes 'em tu stiff for a party to use, 
Where they 'd ough' to be easy 'z an ole pair o' shoes. 
If we say 'n our pletform thet all men are brothei 
We don't mean thet some folks ain't more so 'n some 

others ; 
An' it's Aval understood tint Ave make a selection, 
An' thet brotherhood kin o' sub- ides arter 'lection. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 103 

The fust thing for sound politicians to lam is, 

Thet Truth, to dror kindly in all sorts o' harness, 

Mils' be kep' in the abstract,— for, come to apply it, 

You 're ept to hurt some folks' s interists by it. 

Wal, these 'ere Eepublicans (some on 'em) acs 

Ez though gineral mexims 'ud suit speshle facs \ 

An' there 's where we '11 nick 'em, there 's where they '11 

be lost : 
For applyin' your princerple 's wut makes it cost, 
An' folks don't want Fourth o' July t' interfere 
With the business-consarns o' the rest o' the year, 
ISTo more 'n they want Sunday to pry an' to peck 
Into wut they are doin' the rest o' the week. 

A ginooine statesman should be on his guard, 

Ef he must hev beliefs, nut to b'lieve 'em tu hard ; 

Eor, ez sure ez he does, he '11 be blartin' 'em out 

'Thout regardin' the natur' o' man more 'n a spout, 

ISTor it don't ask much gumption to pick out a flaw 

In a party whose leaders are loose in the jaw : 

An' so in our own case I ventur' to hint 

Thet we 'd better nut air our perceedins in print, 

Nor pass resserlootions ez long ez your arm 

Thet may, ez things heppen to turn, do us harm ; 

Eor when you Ve done all your real meanin' to smother, 

The darned things '11 up an' mean sunthin' or 'nother. 

JefFson prob'ly meant wal with his " born free an' ekle," 



10-1 THE BIG LOW PAPERS. 

But it 's turned out a real crooked stick in the sekle ; 
It 's taken full eighty-odd year — don't you see?— 
From the popular belief to root out thet idee, 
An', arter all, sprouts on 't keep on buddin' forth 
In the nat'lly onprineipled mind o' the North. 
'No, never say nothin' without you 're compelled tu, 
An' then don't say nothin' thet you can be held tu, 
Nor don't leave no friction-idees lay in' loose 
For the ign'ant to put to incend'ary 0£ 

You know I 'm a feller thet keeps a skinned rye 
On the leetle < vents thet go skurryin 1 1 
Coz it's of'ner by them than by gret ones you'll s< 
\Yut the p'litickle weather is likely to be. 

W I don't think the South 's more 'n begun to be 
licked, 
But I du think, e£ Jeff says, the wind-ba at pricked ; 

It'll blow for B Spell an' keep puffin' an' wheczin', 

Tli it'T our army an' na\ ice/in', — 

For they can't help Bpread-eaglein' long 'z ther' ' 

mouth 
To blow Enfield's Speaker thru lef at tlio, South. 
But it 's high time for us to be s.ttin' our faces 
Towards reconstruct in' the national basis, 
Willi an eye to beginnin' agin on the jolly ticks 
We used to chalk up 'hind the back-door o' politics ; 
A if the fus' thing 's to save wut of Slav'ry ther' 's lef 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 105 

Arter this (I urns' call it) imprudence o' Jeff 
Eor a real good Abuse, with, its roots fur an' wide, 
Is the kin' o' thing I like to hev on my side ; 
A Scrip tur' name makes it ez sweet ez a rose, 
An' it 's tougher the older an' uglier it grows — 
(I ain't speakin' now o' the righteousness of it, 
But the p'litickle purchase it gives, an', the profit). 

Things look pooty squally, it must he allowed, 
An' I don't see much signs of a bow in the cloud : 
Ther' ? s too many Deemocrats — leaders, wut 's wuss — 
Thet go for the Union 'thout carin' a cuss 
Ef it helps ary party thet ever wuz heard on, 
So our eagle ain't made a split Austrian bird on. 
But ther' ; s still some conservative signs to be found 
Thet shows the gret heart o' the People is sound : 
(Excuse me for usin' a stump-phrase agin, 
But, once in the way on 't, they will stick like sin :) 
There 's Phillips, for instance, hez jes' ketched a Tartar 
In the Law-'n'-Order Party of ole Cincinnater ; 
An' the Compromise System ain't gone out o' reach, 
Long 'z you keep the right limits on freedom o' speech 
'T warn ; t none too late, neither, to put on the gag, 
Eor he 's dangerous now he goes in for the flag : 
Nut thet I altogether approve o' bad eggs, 
They ; re mos' gin'lly argymunt on its las' legs,— 
An' their logic is ept to be tu indiscriminate, 



106 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Not don't oil us wait the right objecs to 'liminate ; 

But there is a variety on 'em, you '11 find, 

Jest ez usefle an' more, besides bein' refined, — 

I mean o' the sort thet are laid by the dictionary, 

Sech ez sophisms an' cant thet '11 kerry conviction ary 

AVay thet you want to the right class o' men, 

An' are staler than all 't ever come from a hen : 

"Disunion" done wal till our resh Southun friends 

Took the savor all out on 't for national ends ; 

But I guess " Abolition " '11 work a spell yit, 

AVhen the war J s done, an' so will " Forgive-an'- 

forgit." 
Times mus' be pooty thoroughly out o' all jint, 
Ef we can't make a good constitootional pint ; 
An' the good time '11 come to be grindm our exes, 
When the war goes to seed in the nettle o' texes : 
Ef Jon' than don't squirm, with sech helps to assist him, 
I give up my faith in the free-suffrage system ; 
Democ'cy wun ? t be nut a mite interestin', 
!Nor p'litikle capital much wuth investin' ; 
An' my notion is, to keep dark an' lay low 
Till we see the right minute to put in our blow. — 

But I 've talked longer now 'i\ I hed any idee, 
An' ther' ; s others you want to hear more 'n you du me ; 
So I '11 set down an' give thet 'ere bottle a skrinimage, 
For I 've spoke till I ; m dry ez a real graven image. 



SUNTHIN' IN THE PASTOEAL LINE. 

To the Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaalaro, 17tk May, 1862. 

Gentlemen, — At the special request of Mr. Biglow, I 
intended to inclose, together with his own contribution, (into 
which, at my suggestion, he has thrown a little more of pas- 
toral sentiment than usual,) some passages from my sermon on 
the day of the National East, from the text, "Remember them 
that are in bonds, as bound with them," Heb. xiii. 3. But I 
have not leisure sufficient at present for the copying of them, 
even were I altogether satisfied with the production as it 
stands. I should prefer, I confess, to contribute the entire 
discourse to the pages of your respectable miscellany, if it 
should be found acceptable upon perusal, especially as I find 
the difficulty of selection of greater magnitude than I had 
anticipated. What passes without challenge in the fervour of 
oral delivery, cannot always stand the colder criticism of the 
closet. I am not so great an enemy of Eloquence as my 
friend Mr. Biglow would appear to be from some passages in 
his contribution for the current month. I would not, indeed, 
hastily suspect him of covertly glancing at myself in his some- 
what caustick animadversions, albeit some of the phrases he 
girds at are not entire strangers to my lips. I am a more 
hearty admirer of the Puritans than seems now to be the 
fashion, and believe, that, if they Hebraized a little too much 
in their speech, they showed remarkable practical sagacity as 



108 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

statesmen and founders. But such phenomena as Puritanism 
are the results rather of great religious than merely social con- 
vulsions, and do not long survive them. So soon as an earnest 
conviction has cooled into a phrase, its work is over, and 
the best that can be done with it is to burv it. Ite, missa est. 
I am inclined to agree with Mr. Biglow that we cannot settle 
the great political questions which are now presenting them- 
selves to the nation by the opinions of Jeremiah or Ezekiei as 
to the wants and duties of the Jews in their time, nor do I 
believe that an entire communitv with their feelings and views 
would be practicable or even agreeable at the present day. At 
the same time I could wish that their habit of subordinating 
the actual to the moral, the flesh to the spirit, and this world 
to the other were more common. They had found out, at 
least, the great military secret that soul weighs more than 
body. — But I am suddenly called to a sick-bed in the house- 
hold of a valued parishioner. 

With esteem and respect, 

Your obedient servant, 

Homer Wilbur, 

Once git a smell o' musk into a draw 

An/ it clings hold like precerdents in law : 

Your gran'nia'am put it there, — when, goodness knows, — 

To jes' this-worldify her Sunday-clo'es ; 

But the old chist wun't sarve her gran'son's wife, 

(For, 'thout new f unnitoor, wut good in life ? ) 

An' so ole clawfoot, from the precinks dread 

0' the spare chamber, slinks into the shed, 



f 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 109 

Where, dim with dust, it fust or last subsides 
To holdin' seeds- an' fifty things besides ; 
But better days stick fast in heart an' husk, 
An' all you keep in 't gits a scent o' musk. 

Jes' so with poets : wufc they 've airly read 

Gits kind o' worked into their heart an' head, 

So 's 't they can't seem to write but jest on sheers 

With furrin countries or played-out ideers, 

Nor hev a feelin', ef it doos n't smack 

0' wut some critter chose to feel 'way back : 

This makes 'em talk o' daisies, larks, an' things, 

Ez though we 'd nothin' here that blows an' sings, — 

(Why, I 'd give more for one live bobolink 

Than a square mile o' larks in printer's ink,) — 

This makes 'em think our fust o' May is May, 

Which 't ain't, for all the almanicks can say. 

little city-gals, don't never go it 

Blind on the word o' noospaper or poet ! 

They 're apt to puff, an' May-day seldom looks 

Up in the country ez it doos in books ; 

They 're no more like than hornets'-nests an' hives, 

Or printed sarmons be to holy lives. 

I, with my trouses perched on cow-hide boots, 

Tuggin' my foundered feet out by the roots, 

Hev seen ye come to fling on April's hearse 



110 THE BIGLOW TAPERS. 

Your muslin nosegays from the milliner's, 
Puzzlin' to find dry ground your queen to choose, 
An' dance your throats sore in morocker shoes : 
I 've seen ye an' felt proud, thet, come wut would, 
Our Pilgrim stock wuz pithed with hardihood. 
Pleasure doos make us Yankees kind o' winch, 
Ez though 't wuz sun thin' paid for by the inch ; 
But yit we du contrive to worry thru, 
Ef Dooty tells us thet the thing 's to du, 
An' kerry a hollerday, ef we set out, 
Ez stiddily ez though 't wuz a redoubt. 



I, country-born an' bred, know where to find 
Some blooms thet make the season suit the mind, 
An' seem to metch the doubtin' bluebird's notes, — 
Half-yent'iin' liverworts in furry coats, 
Eloodroots, whose rolled-up leaves ef you oncurl, 
Each on 'em 's cradle to a baby-pearl, — 
But these are jcs' Spring's pickets ; sure ez sin, 
The rebble frosts '11 try to drive 'em in ; 
Eor half our May's so awfully like Mayn't, 
'T would rile a Shaker or an evrige saint ; 
Though I own up I like our back'ard springs 
Thet kind o' haggle with their greens an' things, 
An' when you 'most give up, without more words 
Toss the fields full o' blossoms, leaves, an' birds : 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. Ill 

Tliet 's Northern, natur', slow an' apt to doubt, 
But when it ddos git stirred, ther' ; s no gin-out ! 

'.Fust come the blackbirds clatt'rin' in tall trees, 
An' settlin' things in windy Congresses, — 
Queer politicians, though, for I '11 be skinned, 
Ef all on 'em don't head aginst the wind. 
'Eore long the trees begin to show belief, — 
The maple crimsons to a coral-reef, 
Then saflern swarms swing off from all the willers 
So plump they look like yaller caterpillars, 
Then gray hossches'nuts leetle hands unfold 
Softer 'n a baby's be at three days old : 
This is the robin's almanick ; he knows 
Thet arter this ther' 's only blossom-snows ; 
So, choosin' out a handy crotch an' spouse, 
He goes to plast'rin' his adobe house. 

Then seems to come a hitch, — things lag behind, 
Till some fine mornin' Spring makes up her mind, 
An' ez, when snow-swelled rivers cresh their dams 
Heaped-up with ice thet dovetails in an' jams, 
A leak comes spirtin' thru some pin-hole cleft, 
Grows stronger, fercer, tears out right an' left, 
Then all the waters bow themselves an' coine, 
Suddin, in one gret slope o' shedderin' foam, 
Jes' so our Spring gits everythin' in tune 



112 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

An' gives one leap from April into June : 
Then all conies crowdin' in ; afore you think, 
The oak-buds mist the side-hill woods with pink. 
The catbird in the laylock-bush is loud, 
The orchards turn to heaps o' rosy cloud, 
In ellum-shrouds the flashin' hangbird clings 
An' for the summer vy'ge his hammock slings, 
All down the loose-walled lanes in archin' bowers 
The barb'ry droops its strings o' golden flowers, 
Whose shrinkm' hearts the school-gals love to try 
With pins, — they '11 worry yourn so, boys, bimeby ! 
Eut I don't love your cat'logue style, — do you 1 — 
Ez ef to sell all Natur' by vendoo ; 
One word with blood in 't 's twice ez good ez two : 
'.Nuff sed, June 's bridesman, poet o' the year, 
Gladness on wings, the bobolink, is here ; 
Half-hid in tip-top apple-blooms he swings, 
Or climbs aginst the breeze with (juiverm wings, 
Or, givin 1 way to 't in a mock despair, 
Runs down, a brook o' laughter, thru the air. 

I ollus feel the sap start in my veins 

In Spring, with curus heats an prickly pains, 

Thet drive me, when I git a chance, to walk 

Off by myself to hev a privit talk 

With a queer critter thet can't seem to 'gree 

Along o' me like most folks, — Mister Me. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. H^ 

Ther' 's times when I 'm unsoshle ez a stone, 
An ; sort o' suffocate to be alone, — 
I'm crowded jes' to think thet folks are nigh, 
An' can't bear nothin' closer than the sky ; 
Now the wind 's full ez shifty in the mind 
Ez wut it is ou'-doors, ef I ain't blind, 
An' sometimes, in the fairest sou'west weather, 
My iirnard vane pints east for weeks together, 
My natur' gits all goose-flesh, an' my sins 
Come drizzlin' on my conscience sharp ez pins : 
Wal, et sech times I jes' slip out o' sight 
An' take it out in a fair stan'-up fight 
With the one cuss I can't lay on the shelf, 
The crook'dest stick in all the heap, — Myself. 

? T wuz so las' Sabbath arter meetin'-time : 

Findin' my feelins would n't noways rhyme 

With nobody's, but off the hendle flew 

An' took things from an east-wind pint o' view, 

I started off to lose me in the hills 

Where the pines be, up back o' 'Siah's Mills : 

Pines, ef you 're blue, are the best friends I know, 

They mope an' sigh an' sheer your feelins so, — 

They hesh the ground beneath so, tu, I swan, 

You half-forgit you ? ve gut a body on. 

Ther' ; s a small school'us' there where four roads meet 
The door-steps hollered out by little feet, 



114- THE BIG LOW PAPERS. 

An' side-posts carved with names whose owners grew 

To gret men, some on 'em, an/ deacons, tu ; 

; T ain't used no longer, coz the town hez gut 

A high-school, where they teach the Lord knows wut : 

Three-story larnin' ; s poplar now ; I guess 

\Ve thiiV ez wal on jes' two stories lee 

For it strikes me ther' 's secli a thing ez sinnm* 

By overloadin' children's underpinnin' : 

"Wal, here it wuz I larned my A V> I 

An' it 's a kind o' favorite spot with me. 

We 're curus critters : Now ain't jes' the minute 
Thet ever fits u f while we 're in it ; 
Long ez 't wuz futur', 't would he perfect Miss, — 
Soon ez it \s past, thet time 's wuth ten o' this ; 
An' yit there ain't a man thet need h<> told 

Thet Now s tin- <>nly bird b Id. 

A knee-high lad, I used to plot an' plan 

An' think 't wuz life's cap f t«» be a man ; 

Now, gittin 1 gray, there 's notion' I <-njoy 

Like dreamin' hack along into a boy : 

So the ole school'iis' is a place I ch<- 

Afore all others, ef I want to muse ; 

I set down where I used to set, an' git 

My boyhood hack, an' better things with it, — 

Faith, Hope, an' sunthin', ef it is n't Cherril 

It 's want o' j oile, an 1 thet 'a i rerrity« 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 115 

Now, 'fore I knowed, thet Sabbath arternoon 

Thet I sofc out to tramp myself in tune, 

I found me in the school'us' on my seat, 

Drummin' the march to No-wheres with my feet. 

Thinkin' o' nothin', I 've heerd ole folks say, 

Is a hard kind o' dooty in its way : 

It 's thinkin' everythin' you ever knew, 

Or ever hearn, to make your feelins blue. 

I sot there tryin' thet on for a spell : 

I thought o' the Eebellion, then o' Hell, 

Which some folks tell ye now is jest a metterfor 

(A the'ry, p'raps, it wun't feel none the better for) ; 

I thought o' Eeconstruction, wut we 'd win 

Patchin' our patent self-blow-up agin : 

I thought ef this 'ere milkin' o' the wits, 

So much a month, warn't givin' Natur' fits, — 

Ef folks warn't druv, findin' their own milk fail, 

To work the cow thet hez an iron tail, 

An' ef idees 'thout ripenin' in the pan 

Would send up cream to humor ary man : 

From this to thet I let my worryin' creep, 

Till finally I must ha' fell asleep. 

Our lives in sleep are some like streams thet glide 
'Twixt flesh an' sperrit boundin' on each side, 
Where both shores' shadders kind o' mix an' mingle 
In sunthin' thet ain't jes' like either single ; 



116 THE BIGLOW PAPER E 

An' when you cast off moorins from To-day, 

An' down towards To-morrer drift away, 

The imi^es thet ten^le on the stream 

Make a new upside-downard world o' dream : 

Sometimes they seem like sum breaks an' warnins 

0' wut '11 be in Heaven on v th-mornii 

An', mixed right in ez ef jest out o' spit 

Sunthin' thet says your -upper ain't gone right. 

I 'm gret on dreams, an often, when 1 wai 

I 've lived so much it makes my mem'iy acl 

An' can't skurce take a cat-nap in my ch< 

Thout hevin' em, some good. Borne had, all queer. 

Now I wuz settin where I M ben, it g d, 

An' ain't sure yit whether I t'ally dreamed, 

!Nor, ef I did, how long I might ha' sits 

When I hearn BOme un Btompin' up the Btepj 

An' lookin' round, ef two an' two make four, 

I see a Pilgrim Father in the door. 

He wore a st> -hat, tall 1 Ml' spun 

With rowels to 'em big ez dies' nut-burrs, 

An* his gret sword behind him sloped away 

Lon,L, r '/ a man's speech thet dunno wut to say. — 

"Ef your name 's Biglow, an 1 your given-name 

Eoaee," sez he, M it 's arter you 1 came : 

I 'in your gret-gran'ther multiplied by three." — 

k- My wut /" sez I. — u Your i he : 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 117 

" You would n't ha' never ben here but for me. 

Two hunderd an' three year ago this May 

The ship I come in sailed up Boston Bay ; 

I 'd ben a cunnle in our Civil War, — 

But wut on airth hev you gut up one for % 

I 'm told you write in public prints : ef true, 

It 's nateral you should know a thing or two." — 

" Thet air 's an argymunt I can't endorse, — 

'T would prove, coz you wear spurs, you kep' a horse : 

For brains/' sez I, " wutever you may think, 

Ain't boun' to cash the drafs o' pen-an'-ink, — 

Though mos' folks write ez ef they hoped jes' quickenm' 

The churn would argoo skim-milk into thickenin' ; 

But skim-milk ain't a thing to change its view 

0' useneness, no more 'n a smoky flue. 

But du pray tell me, ; fore we furder go, 

How in all Natur' did you come to know 

'Bout our affairs," sez I, " in Kingdom-Come % T ' — 

" Wal, I worked round at sperrit-rappin' some,. 

In hopes o' larnin' wut wuz goin' on," 

Sez he, " but mejums lie so like all-split 

Thet I concluded it wuz best to quit. \ 

But, come now, ef you wun't confess to knowin r , 

You 've some conjecturs how the thing 's a-goin'." — 

" Gran'ther," sez I, "a vane warn't never known 

Nor asked to hev a jedgment of its own ; 

An' yit, ef 't ain't gut rusty in the jints, 



LIS TIIE BIGLOW PAP] 

It 's safe to trust its say on cert in pints : 

It knows the wind's opinions to a T, 

An' the wind settles wut the weather '11 be.''' — 

" I never thought a scion of our stock 

Could grow the wood to m dhercock ; 

When I wnz younger *n you, skurce more 'n a shaver, 

airthly wind. : lie, "could make me wawr \" 
(Ez i 1 this, ho clinched his jaw an' forehead, 
Hitchin' his belt to bring his sword-hilt forrard.) — 
11 Jes' so it wuz with me," sez I, " I w, 
When / wuz younger 'n wut you see me now,— 
Nothin', from .Adam's fall to Huldy's bonn< 
Thet I warn't full-cocked with myjedgment on i 
But now I 'i: d in life, I find 

It ' ardei to make up my mind, — 

Nor I d in try to, when events 

"Will du it for me free of all B. 

The moral <p: a olios plain enough, — 

It 'sjes 1 tlie human-natur' side tl tougl 

"Wut 's best to think may n't puzzle me nor you, — 
The pinch comes in decidin 1 wut to du; 
Ef you read History, all run- Bmooth 
Coz there the men ain't nothin 1 more 'n idees, — 
Bat come to '. we must to-day, 

Th' idees heir arms an 1 Legs an 1 stop the way: 

It 's easy fixin' things in facte an' fig . — 

They can't resist, nor warn't brought up with niggers; 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 119 

But come to try your the'ry on, — why, then 
Your facts an' figgers change to ign'ant men 

Actin' ez ugly " " Smite ? em hip an' thigh ! " 

Sez gran'ther, " and let every man-child die ! 
Oh for three weeks o' Crommle an' the Lord ! 

Israel, to your tents an 7 grind the sword ! " — 
" Thet kind o' thing worked wal in ole Judee, 
But you forgit how long it 's ben AD. ; 

You think thet 's ellerkence, — I call it shoddy, 
A thing," sez I, "wun t cover soul nor body; 

1 like the plain all-wool o' common-sense, 

Thet warms ye now, an' will a twelvemonth hence. 

You took to follerin' where the Prophets beckoned, 

An', fust you knowed on, back come Charles the Second ; 

jSTow wut I want 's to hev all we gain stick, 

An' not to start Millennium too quick ; 

We hain't to punish only, but to keep, 

An' the cure 's gut to go a cent'ry deep/' — 

" Wal, milk-an' -water aint a good cement," 

Sez he, " an' so you '11 find it in th' event ; 

Ef reshness venters sunthin', shilly-shally 

Loses ez often wut 's ten times the vally. 

Thet exe of ourn, when Charles's neck gut split, 

Opened a gap thet ain't bridged over yit : 

Slav'ry 's your Charles, the Lord hez gin the exe," ■ 

" Our Charles," sez I, " hez gut eight million necks. 
The hardest question ain't the black man's right, — 



120 THE BIGLOW PAPK1 

The trouble is to Emancipate the white ; 

One 's chained in body an can be sot free, — 

The other 's chained in soul to an idee : 

It 's a long job, but we shall worry thru it ; 

Ef bag'nets fail, the spellin'-book must do it." — 

" Hosee," sez he, " I think you 're goin' to fail : 

The rettlesnake ain't dangerous in the tail ; 

This 'ere rebellion 's nothin' but the rettle, — 

You'll stomp on thet an' think you 've won the bottle; 

It 's Slavery thet 's the fangs and thinkin' head, 

An' ef you want selvation, cresh it dead, — 

An' cresh it suddin, or you '11 lam by waitin' 

Thet Chance won' [) to listen to debatin' !" — 

" God's truth ! " sez I,— " an' ef / held the club, 

An' knowed jerf where to strike, — but there 's the 

rub ! "— 
"Strike soon," sez hi I '11 be deadly ailin', — 

Iks thet "s afeared to tail are sure o' iailin'; 
God hates your kin' creturs thet In-lit 

He '11 settle things they run away an' leave !" 
brought his foot down fercely, ez he Bpol 

' give me sech a startle thet I wi 



LATEST VIEWS OF MR BIGLOW. 

PRELIMINARY NOTE. 

[It is with feelings of the liveliest pain that we inform oui 
readers of the death of the Reverend Homer Wilbur, A.M. 
which took place suddenly, by an apoplectic stroke, on the 
afternoon of Christmas-Day, 1862. Our venerable friend (for 
so we may venture to call him, though we never enjoyed the 
high privilege of his personal acquaintance) was in his eighty- 
fourth year, having been born June 12, 1779, at Pigsgussefc 
Precinct (now West Jerusha) in the then District of Maine. 
Graduated with distinction at Hubville College in 1805, he 
pursued his theological studies with the late Reverend Pre- 
served Thacker, D.D. and was called to the charge of the 
Eirst Society in Jaalam in 1809, where he remained till his 
death. 

" As an antiquary he has probably left no superior, if, in- 
deed, an equal," writes his friend and colleague, the Reverend 
Jeduthun HitchcocK, to whom we are indebted for the above 
facts ; u in proof of which I need only allude to his l History 
of Jaalam, Genealogical, Topographical, and Ecclesiastical,' 
1849, which has won him an eminent and enduring place in 
our more solid and useful literature. It is only to be regretted 
that his intense application to historical studies should have 
so entirely withdrawn him from the pursuit of poetical com- 
position, for which he was endowed by Nature with a remark- 



122 THE BIGLOW PAPKB& 

able aptitude. His well-known hymn, beginning, ' 'With clouds 
of care encompassed round/ has been attributed in some col- 
lections to tbe late President D wight, and it is hardly pre- 
sumptuous to affirm that the simile of the rainbow in the 
eighth stanza would do no discredit to that polished pen." 

AVe regret that we have not room at present for the whole 
of Mr. Hitchcock's exceedingly valuable communication. We 
hope to lay more liberal extracts from it before our readers at 
an early day. A summary of its contents will give so:; 
notion of its importance and interest It contains: 1st, A 
biographical sketch of Mr. Wilbur, with notices of his pre- 
decessors iu the pastoral office, and of eminent clerical con- 
temporaries ; 2d, An obituary of deceased, from the Punkin- 

lls M Weekly Parallel ;" 3d, A list of his printed and 
manuscript productions and of projected works; 4th, 1 isJ 

anecdotes and rccolle with specimens of table-talk ; 

5th, A tribute to his relict, Mrs. Dorcas (Pilcox) Wilbur; 
V list of graduates lit nt colleges by Mr. 

Wilbur, with biographies] memoranda touching the mor< 
tinguished; 7th, Concerning I, charitable, and other 

socio! hich Mr. Wilbur was a member, and of the 

T h which, had his life been prolonged, he would doubtless 
have been SSS04 . with a COmplel of such 

have be< u Fellows of the Royal Boom th, A 
brief summary of Mr. Wilbur's latest conclusions concerning 
the Tenth Horn of the in its special application to 

recent for which the public, as Mr. Bitehooek aston 

i waiting with feelings of lively anticipation : 

I, Mr. llitehcock's own views on the same topic; and, 

J Oth, A brief essay on the importance of local histories. It 

will be apparent that the duty of preparing Mr. Wilbur's 

iphy could not have fallen into more sympathetic hands. 

In a private letter with which the reverend gentleman 1 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 123 

since favoured us, he expresses the opinion that Mr. Wilbur's 
life was shortened by our unhappy civil war. It disturbed 
his studies, dislocated all his habitual associations and trains 
of thought, and unsettled the foundations of a faith, rather 
the result of habit than conviction, in the capacity of man for 
self-government. " Such has been the felicity of my life," 
he said to Mr. Hitchcock, on the very morning of the day he 
died, "that, through the divine mercy, I could alwavs say, 
Summum nee metuo diem, nee opto. It has been my habit, as 
you know, on every recurrence of this blessed anniversary, to 
read Milton's ' Hymn of the Nativity ' till its sublime har- 
monies so dilated my soul and quickened its spiritual sense 
that I seemed to hear that other song which gave assurance 
to the shepherds that there was One who would lead them 
also in green pastures and beside the still waters. But to-day 
I have been unable to think of anything but that mournful 
text, ' I came not to send peace, but a sword,' and, did it not 
smack of pagan presumptuousness, could almost wish I had 
never lived to see this day." 

Mr. Hitchcock also informs us that his friend "lies buried 
in 1 lie Jaalam graveyard, under a large red-cedar which he 
specially admired. A neat and substantial monument is to be 
erected over his remains, with a Latin epitaph written by him- 
self ; for he was accustomed to say pleasantly that there was 
at least one occasion in a scholar's life when he might show 
the advantages of a classical traininc:." 

The following fragment of a letter addressed to us, and 
apparently intended to accompany Mr. Biglow's contribution 
to the present number, was found upon his table after his 
decease. — Editoiis Atlantic Monthly.] 



124 THE BIGLOW Pa?EU8. 



To the Editors of the Atlantic Monthly. 

Jaaluin 2 ith, 1862. 

"Respected Sirs, — The infirm state of my bodily health 
would be a sufficient apology for not taking up the pen at tnia 
time, wholesome as I deem it for the mind to apricate in the 
shelter of epistolary confidence, were it not that a considerable, 
I might even say a large, number of individuals in this pariah 
expect from their pastor some publick expression of sentiment 
at this crisis. Moreover, Qui tacit us ardet magis uritur. In 
trying times like these, the besetting sin of undisciplined 
minds is to seek refuge from inexplicable realities in the 
dangerous stimulant of angry partisanship, or the indolent 
narcotick of vague and hopeful vaticination : fortunuinque suo 

■fperat arbitrio. Both by reason of my aire and my natural 
temperament, I am unlit ted for either. Unable to penetrate 
the inscrutable judgments of God, I am more than ever 
thankful that my life has been prolonged till I could in some 
small measure comprehend llis mercy. As there is no man 
who does not at some time render himself amenable to the 
one, — qmm vis j sit securus, — so there is none that does 

not feel himself in daily need of the other. 

I confess, I cannot feel, as some do, a personal consolation 
for the manifest evils of this war in any remote or contingent 
advantages that may spring from it. I am old and weak, 1 
can bear little, and can scarce hope to see better days ; nor is 
it any adequate compensation to know that Nature is old and 
strong and can bear much. Old men philosophize over the 
past, but the present is only a burthen and a weariness. Th 
one lies before them like a placid evening landscape ; the 
other is full of the vexations and anxieties of housekeeping. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 12£> 

It may be true enough that niiscet Jkec Mis, prohibetque Clotho 
fortunam stare, but he who said it was fain, at last to call in 
Atropos with her shears before her time ; and I cannot help 
selfishly mourning that the fortune of our Republick could 
not at least stand till my days were numbered. 

Tibullus would find the origin of wars in the great exag- 
geration of riches, and does not stick to say that in the days 
of the beechen trencher there was peace. But averse as I am 
by nature from all wars, the more as they have been especially 
fatal to libraries, I would have this one go on till we are 
reduced to wooden platters again, rather than surrender the 
principle to defend which it was undertaken. Though I 
believe Slavery to have been the cause of it, by so thoroughly 
demoralizing Northern politicks for its own purposes as to 
give opportunity and hope to treason, yet I would not have 
our thought and purpose diverted from their true object, — 
the maintenance of the idea of Government. We are not 
merely suppressing an enormous riot, but contending for the 
possibility of permanent order co-existing with democratical 
fickleness; and while I would not superstitiously venerate 
form to the sacrifice of substance, neither would I forget that 
an adherence to precedent and prescription can alone give 
that continuity and coherence under a democratical constitu- 
tion which are inherent in the person of a despot ick monarch 
and the selfishness of an aristocratical class. Stet pro mtione 
voluntas is as dangerous in a majority as in a tyrant. 

I cannot allow the present production of my young friend 
to go out without a protest from me against a certain extreme- 
ness in his views, more pardonable in the poet than the 
philosopher. While I agree with him that the only cure for 
rebellion is suppression by force, yet I must animadvert upon 
certain phrases where I seem to see a coincidence with a 
popular fallacy on the subject of compromise. On the one 



126 THE BIGLOW TAPERS. 

hand there are those who do not see that the vital principle of 
Government and the seminal principle of Law cannot properly 
be made a subject of compromise at all, and on the other 
those who are equally blind to the truth that without a com- 
promise of individual opinions, interests, and even rights, no 
society would be possible, hi medio tutissimus. Eor my own 
part, I would gladly — 



EfI a song or two could make, 

Like rockets druv by their own burnin', 
All leap an' light, to leave a wake 

Men's hearts an' faces skyward turnin' ! — 
But, it strikes me, 't ain't jest the time 

Fer Btringin 1 words with Bettisfaction : 
Wut 's wanted now 's the silent rhyme 

Twixt upright Will an' downright Action. 

Words, ef you keep 'em, pay their keep, 

But gabble 's the short cut to ruin; 
It 's gratis, (gals half-price,) but cheap 

At no rate, ef it benders doin' ; 
Ther' 's nothin' wuss, 'less 't is to set 

A martyr-prem'um upon jawrin' : 
Teapots git dangerous, ef you shet 

Their lids down on 'em with Fort Warren. 



THE BIGLOW PAPEKS. 12?> 

'Bout long enough, it 's ben discussed 

Who sot the magazine afire, 
An' whether, ef Boh Wickliffe bust, 

'T would scare us more or blow us higher. 
D' ye s'pose the Gret Foreseer's plan 

Wuz settled fer him in town-meetin' 1 
Or thet ther' 'd ben no Fall o' Man, 

Ef Adam 'd on'y bit a sweetra' ] 

Oh, Jonathan, ef you want to be 

A rugged chap agin an' hearty, 
Go fer wutever '11 hurt Jeff D., 

Nut wut '11 boost tip ary party. 
Here 's hell broke loose, an' we lay flat 

With half the univarse a-singein', 
Till Sen'tor This an' Gov'nor Thet 

Stop squabblin' fer the garding-ingin'. 

It 's war we 're in, not politics ; 

It 's systems wrastlin' now, not parties ; 
An' victory in the eend '11 fix 

Where longest will an' truest heart is. 
An' wut 's the Guv'ment folks about 1 

Tryin' to hope ther 's nothin' doin', 
An' look ez though they did n't doubt 

Sunthin' pertickler wuz a-brewin'. 

I 



128 THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 

Ther' 's critters yit tliet talk an' act 

Fer writ they call Conciliation ; 
They 'd hand a butT'lo-drove a tr; 

When they wuz madder than all Bashan. 
Conciliate? it jest means be . 7, 

Xo metter how they phrase an' tone it ; 
It means thet we 're to set down licked, 

Thet we 're poor shotes an 1 glad to own it ! 

A war on tick 's ez dear 'z the deu< 

But it wunt leave no last in' fcrao 
Ez 't would to make a sneakin' true 

Without no moral specie-basis : 
Ef green-backs ain't nut jest t- 

I g ' .er' *s evils thet .tremer, — 

1-Yr instance, — shinplaster i 

Like them pot out by Gkn S'vmour. 

Last year, the Nation, at a word, 

When tremblin' Fw dom cried to shield her, 
Flamed woldin' into o:w keen sword 

Waitin an' longin 1 fei a wi< Ider : 
lendid Sash ! — an 1 how M the | 

With sech a chair :h t wuz tally? 

TIkt' warn't no meanin' in our clasp, — 

Half this, half thet, all shilly-shally. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 129 

More men 1 More Man ! It 's there we fail ; 

Weak plans grow weaker yit by lengthenin' : 
Wut use in addin' to the tail, 

When it 's the head 's in need o' strengthenin' ? 
We wanted one thet felt all Chief 

From roots o' hair to sole o' stockin', 
Square-sot with thousan'-ton belief 

In him an' us, ef earth went rockin' ! 

Ole Hick'ry would n't ha' stood see-saw 

'Bout doin' things till they wuz done with, — 
He 'd smashed the tables o' the Law 

In time o' need to load his gun with ; 
He could n't see but jest one side, — 

Ef his, 't wuz God's, an' thet wuz plenty ; 
An' so his " Forrards ! " multiplied 

An army's fightin' weight by twentj'. 

But this 'ere histin', creak, creak, creak, 

Your cappen's heart up with a derrick, 
This tryin' to coax a lightnin'- streak 

Out of a half-discouraged hay-rick, 
This hangin' on moiit' arter niont' 

Fer one sharp purpose 'niongst the twitter, — 
I tell ye, it doos kind o^ stunt 

The peth an' sperit of a critter. 



130 THE biglow PArzr.s. 

In six months where '11 the People be, 

Ef leaders look on revolution 
Ez though it wui a cup o' tea, — 

Jest social el'ments in solution ? 
This weighin' tilings doos wal enough 

When war cools down, an' conies to writin' ; 
Eut while it 's niakin', the true stuff 

Is pison-mad, pig-headed figktin'. 

Democracy gives every man 

A right to be hi> own oppressor ; 
But a loose Gov'nient ain't the plan, 

Helpless ez spilled beans on a dresser : 
I tell ye one thing we might lam 

Prom U -mart crittero, the Seceders, — 
Efbein 1 right 9 s the fust consarn, 

The 'fore-thc-f' :i leaders. 

Eut 'pears to me I see som< is 

Thet we 're a-goin' to use our sense 
Jeff dm v us into these hard line 

An' ough' to hear his half th' expenses ; 
Slavery 's Secession's heart an' will, 

South, North, East, West, where'er you find it, 
An' ef it drors in the War's mill, 

D' ye say them thunder-stones sha'n't grind it? 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 131 

D' ye s'pose, .ef Jeff giv him a lick, 

Ole Hick'ry 'd tried his head to sof'ii 
So 's 't would n't hurt thet ebony stick 

Thet 's made our side see stars so of n ? 
u No ! " he 'd ha' thundered, " on your knees, 

An' own one flag, one road to glory ! 
Soft-heartedness, in times like these, 

Shows sof 'ness in the upper story ! n 

An' why should we kick up a muss 

About the Pres'dunt's proclamation % 
It ain't a-goin' to lib'rate us, 

Ef we don't like emancipation ; 
The right to be a cussed fool 

Is safe from all devices human, 
It 's common (ez a gin'l rule) 

To every critter born o' woman. 

60 we 're all right, an' I, fer one, 

Don't think our cause '11 lose in vally 
Ey rammin' Scriptur' in our gun, 

An' gittin' ISTatur' fer an ally : 
Thank God, say I, fer even a plan 

To lift one human bein's level, 
Give one more chance to make a niaiL, 

.Or, anyhow, to spile a devil 1 



132 THE BIGLOW PAPERSb 

Not thetr I 'm one that much ex] 

Millennium by express to morrer; 
They will miscarry — I 

Tu many on 'em,, to my sorrer : 
Men ain't madi 

No matter how you mould an' labor Vunv 
Nor 'riginal ' ly 

With Abe bo ofn ez with Abraham.. 

The'ry thinks y thing, 

An' want> the banns read right ensuih- ; 
But 1 wun't n r the ring 

Thout ye ttin' op an 1 v. ' ; 

But* arter all, Time's dial-plate 

M cent'rii n ith the minute-fing< r. 
An' i rood oan'i never come tu 

Thougb it »i 



An' come wut will, I think i ad 

Abe 's gut his will et last bloom-fumacecl 

In trial-fl i till it '11 stand 
Tl . o' bein' in deadly earnest : 

Th wut we want, — we want to know 
The folks on our side hez the bravi i 
l»'!i<-\ i hard, come weal, come woe* 

y. 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 133 

Set the two forces foot to foot, 

An' every man knows who '11 be winner, 
Whose faith in God hez ary root 

Thet goes down deeper than his dinner ; 
Then 't will be felt from pole to pole, 

Without no need o' proclamation, 
Earth's Biggest Country 's gut her soul 

An' risen up Earth's Greatest Nation ! 



MR. HOSEA BIGLOW TO THE TDITOR OF 
THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY. 

Dear Sir, — Your letter eome to lian', 
Requefitin' me to pi be funny ; 

But 1 a' n't made upon B plan 

Thet knows wut 's conlin , , gall or hom v : 
Ther' 's times tli os look so queer. 

Odd 68 come afore 1 i all Vin ; 
]• half a 

No pi ' 1 's more solemn 

<u 're 'n want o' suntliin' lighi an 1 cute, 
ttlin' an' shrewd an' kin' </ jingleifih, 
An wish, pervidin' it 'ould suit, 

I \l take an' citify my English. 
I ten write long-tailed, ef I pi . — 
.1 when 1 7 m jokin,' no, J thank 
Then, 'fore J know it, my idei 
liuu helter-skelter into Yankee. 



THE BIGKLOW PAPEKS. 135 

:Sence I foegun to scribble rhyme, 

I tell ye wut, I ha'n't ben foolin' ; 
The parson's books, life, death, an' time 

Hev took some trouble with my schoolin' ; 
Nor th' airth don't git put out with me, 

Thet love her 'z though she wuz a woman ; 
Why, th' a' n't a bird upon the tree 

But half forgives my bein' human. 

An' yit I love th' unhighschooled way 

OF farmers hed when I wuz younger ; 
Their talk wuz meatier, an' 'ould stay, 

"While book-froth seems to whet your hunger ; 
For puttin' in a downright lick 

'Twixt Humbug's eyes, ther' 's few can match it, 
An' then it helves my thoughts ez slick 

Ez stret-grained hickory doos a hatchet. 

'But when I can't, I can't, thet 's all, 

For Natur' won't put up with gullin' ; 
Idees you hev to shove an' haul 

Like a druv pig a' n't wuth a mullein ; 
Live thoughts a' n't sent for ; thru all rifts 

O' sense they pour an' resh ye onwards, 
Like rivers when south-lyin' drifts 

Feel thet the airth is wheelin sunwards. 



136 THE BIGLOW PAPSB8« 

Time wuz, the rhvmt ie crowding thick 

Ez office-seekers arter 'lection, 
An' into ary place 'ould stick 

Without no bother nor ohj I ; 

But sence the war my thoughts hang hack 

Ez though I wanted to enlist Yin, 
An' titutes, — wal, t k, 

But then they '11 slopt a. 

Nothin 1 don't seem like wut it wuz; 

I can't Bee wut there ifl to hindi 

An' yit my brains jes' go buzz, b 

Like bumbl 
'Fore th come, in all Birth's row, 

Tic l" WUZ (me quiet phut, in \ lu-ad ill, 

AY aid hide an' think, — but now 

It Y all one Y, dreadin'. 

Where 'a l\ I >wn night, 

When gaunt wall w numb an 1 Dumb r, 

An', creakin' ' oow-crust whit 

Walk the col' starlight into summ< rj 

Up grows the moon, an 1 swell by swell 
Thru the pale pasture silv< ra dimm< 

Than the last -mile t: to tell 

0' L one heavenward in its shimmer. 



THE BIGXOW PAPEKS. 13T 

I hev been gladder o' sech things 

Than cocks o' spring or bees o' clover, 
They filled my heart with livin' springs, 

But now they seem to freeze 'em over ; 
Sights innercent ez babes on knee, 

Peaceful ez eyes o' pastur'd cattle, 
Jes' coz they be so, seem to me 

To rile me more with thoughts o' battle. 

In-doors an' out by spells I try ; 

Ma'am Natur' keeps her spin- wheel goin',, 
But leaves my natur' stiff an' dry 

Ez fiel's o' clover arter mo win' ; 
An' her jes' keepin' on the same, 

Calmer than clock-work, an' not carin', 
An' findin' nary thing to blame, 

Is wus than ef she took to swearin'. 

Snow-flakes come whisperin' on the pane 

The charm makes blazin' logs so pleasant,. 
But I can't hark to what they 're say'n', 

With Grant or Sherman oilers present ; 
The chimbleys shudder in the gale, 

Tliet lulls, then suddin takes to flappin' 
Like a shot hawk, but all 's ez stale 

To me ez so much sperit-rappin'. 



138 THE BIGL0W PAPl EtS. 

Under the yaller-pines I house, 

AYhen sunshine makes 'em all t-sccnted, 

An' hear among their furry bough- 

The baskin' west-wind purr contented, — 
While 'way o'erhead, in 1 low 

Ez distant bells thet ri >r meet in', 

Tj I wir geese their b - blow, 

irther air farther South i itin\ 

Or up the slippery knob 1 strain 
An' Bee a hunderd hills like ifllai 
it their blue woods in brofa d chain 

(hit o' the sea o' snowy bUi 
The farm-smoh lit on airth, 

Slow thru the winter air a-shrinkin 9 , 
S : kin' o' utd, an 1 roun' the hearth 

Of empty placet set mo tliinki. 

B m r roan hoarse with meltin' sno^ 
An' rattles di'mon's from hi- granil 
Mi- wuz, he matched away my proi 

An' into psalm in it; 

Imt he, nor all the rest tint on< 
SI i my blood rantry-dan 

n't sot ni" goin 1 more hi a dunce 

Thet ha'n't for dreama an* fancies. 



THE BIGLOW PAPEES. 139' 

Bat-tat-tat-tattle thru the street 

I hear the drummers makin' riot, 
An' I set thinkin' o' the feet 

Thet follered once an' now are quiet, — 
White feet ez snowdrops innercent, 

Thet neyer knowed the paths o' Satan, 
"Whose comin' step ther' 's ears thet won't, 

~No , not lifelong, leave off awaitin'. 

Why, ha'n't I held 'em on my knee ? 

Did n't I love to see 'em growin', 
Three likely lads ez wal could be, 

Handsome an' brave an' not tu knowin' ? 
I set an' look into the blaze 

Whose natur', jes' like their'n, keeps climbin', 
Ez long 'z it lives, in shinin' ways, 

An' half despise myself for rhymin'. 

Wut 's words to them whose faith an' truth 

On War's red techstone rang true metal, 
Who ventered life an' love an' youth 

For the gret prize o' death in battle ? 
To him who, deadly hurt, agen 

Plashed on afore the charge's thunder, 
Tippin' with fire the bolt of men 

Thet rived the Eebel line asunder ? 



140 TIIE BIGLOW PAP] ftS, 

'T a'n't right to licv tl fust, 

All tlirobbiu full o' gifts an 1 .. 
Leavin' life's paupers dry ez dm 

To try an' make b'lieve lill their pi 
Xothin' but tells as wut we miss, 

Ther' ' is our li r never fey in, 

An' thct world serins so fur from ti 

Lcf for us loafers to grow gray ill ! 

My eyes cloud up for rain; my mouth 
"Will take to twitchin 1 roan 9 the corners ; 

I pity mothers, tu, down South, 
Tor all they sot among the 

I 'd worn i chance to stan' 

gment wto >ur m 

Than at Q bar hoi 1 ap a tu 
Ez drippin' red i ; ur'n, I 

Come, Peace ! not like a mourner bowed 
For honor lost an 1 dear on< I, 

But proud, to i pie pi 

With b tell o s triumph tasted ! 

Come, with ban' grippin' on the hilt, 

An' stop that proves ye Victory's daughter! 
Longin' for you, our B] wilt 

Like shipwrecked men's on ra: r water! 



THE BIGLOW PAPERS. 141 

Come, while our country feels the lift 

Of a gret instinct shoutin 5 forwards, 
An' knows thet freedom a'n't a gift 

Thet tarries long in hans' o' cowards ! 
Come, sech ez mothers prayed for, when 

They kissed their cross with lips thet quivered, 
An' bring fair wages for brave men, 

A nation saved, a race delivered ! 



w w. 



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